Volcanoes

Those readers not surfing late of a night for references to anuses and pubes will be familiar with my themes. I have little need for viewers, so I don't tend to post images of bosoms and tumescences. But to throw a bone to my more self-abusive guests, there's this:

which came up in a Google images search for "distended anus". I'm not sure what exactly it is you're into, so if this isn't your cuppa, you'll just have to snuffle out your own homoerotic images. I consider my job done, and I wash my hands of the whole thing. Frankly, you disgust me a little. There is something seriously wrong with you, and I don't mean Global Warming!

And since you bring it up, allow me to divert your attention for a brief moment away from your briefs and toward the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, co-Laureate with Al Gore, which has released its report. Upshot? Gore says sea-levels could rise 20 feet. The IPCC says one foot, over the next century. In context, this is the same magnitude the world has enjoyed over the past 150 years. Didn't you notice? D.C. is underwater, I understand.

The Gulf Stream -- the circulation of warm water from the Gulf of Mexico up towards Europe -- is not in danger of stopping, pace Gore. Theory has it that the bursting of a mega-icedam in the Canadian Great Lakes poured icy water into the Atlantic and inhibited the Stream for hundreds of years. Alas for Gore's doctrine, 1000 times less meltwater might flow off of Greenland over the next century. Negligible effect on the Gulf Stream. Doesn't make for gripping story-telling, does it. The Gulf Steam warms both coasts of the North Atlantic. Europe has notably warmer summers because of winds, not currents.

Says the IPCC, "Catastrophic scenarios about the beginning of an ice age ... are mere speculations, and no climate model has produced such an outcome .... we can confidently exclude this scenario."

It's a matter of perspective, and of informing oneself of the facts. A few decades, when dealing with worldwide meteorological trends, are insufficient. Even centuries will not be enough. Thus, this chart, found here, prepared by them:

We find a weather universe of recurring big bangs. No steady-state at all. A roller coaster ride. My expectation is that, because there does seem to have been an issue with the ozone layer -- with that anthropogenic ozone hole at the South Pole caused by all the CFC armpit sprays and bug killers -- a certain segment of our intelligentsia has become even more unbalanced than otherwise. Passion is great, but it belongs in the bedroom. You of all people should know that, loverboy. To go into a religious ecstasy over the thought of a few degrees of average-temperature change, without bothering to look at historic trends -- well, it's a sort of jihadism, isn't it. An immoderate expression of your religiosity. Why don't you just go back to your Playgirl.

Furthermore ... ahem, I say, furthermore ... oh ... well, that seems to be all. For now. I haven't even seen the movie -- Gore's movie. Didn't see any of mikael moore's recent flicks either. These bloated politicos should stop making movies and do what they do best -- which is, uh, fundraising.

What? You're wondering about volcanoes? Use your eyes, dude. They're in the middle of your head for something more than just looking at porn. Sheesh.


J