Things That Bother Me

The word irregardless bothers me. The formulation, "the reason is because" bothers me. The word secrete. Example: He secreted the stolen rubies into a deep orifice, a hiding place never to be discovered. To conceal or cache. But that's not what it means. Secrete means to generate and expel some substance, as a sebaceous discharge from a sac. Like goo off of a toad, or the mucusoid effluent issuing from a fish's gonads during spawning season. It is secreted. Rubies are not secreted. They are made secret -- secreted, accent on the first syllable. The other word in this sense is an illiterate alliterative usage, albeit one now accepted in dictionaries. It just bothers me, is all.

Periods bother me when they're part of obvious abbreviations. Mr. etc. First, why isn't it et c.? Then, what are we supposed to do when etc. appears at the end of a sentence? -- that ends with a period, ellipses, etc.. Or how about Mr. M.? Mr. M? Mr M? You see? Go see Mr. M.. Go see Mr M. It's not consistent, is all. Point is, the period is not necessary. It used to bother me, at the dawn of the internet age, how they'd call the keyboard period a "dot". It's not a dot. It's a period. Sometimes a decimal point. Not a dot. But that doesn't bother me anymore.

It bothers me how they dealt with me. I find myself returning to it. With indignation. I understand the emotion -- they felt disrespected. Duh. So they "closed" my "account". That's their right. But they threatened me with the police. If I came around, they'd call the police and say I was trespassing. That's why I can't let it go. I can explain my own conduct. They weren't interested, and that too is their right. But what's their reasoning? I'm dangerous? I'd make a scene? I'd like someone to explain, convincingly, how it's not cowardly. Because I, I, listen to explanations. I think it is contemptible. I'd certainly listen to an explanation, but in its absence, now, I might make a scene.

Question marks bother me. They are not question marks, they are intonation marks. Rhetorical questions should not get that punctuation. Just because the sentence is formulated in the semblance of a question doesn't mean it is one. There is no tonal rise at the end. It's not a question. Shouldn't have a question mark.

It bothers me how there is no justice or possibility for justice. It bothers me how little intelligence there is in the world. I'm bothered by the memory of crying children, of hateful laughter, of betrayal. I'm bothered by a lack of hope, of joy, of comfort, of purpose. I'm bothered by the knowledge that I will someday be discovered in my hiding place and be destroyed.

It bothers me that all of your love and kindness, compassion, wisdom, humanity can do me no good.


J