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I find myself possessed of a great and sudden depression. Entropy and futility converging. Just tired of something too general to have a single descriptive term.

My foolish mother rented her little place to a woman whose check bounced and thus moved out yesterday. Don't ask. My radiator is leaking. I got to roll a bit today with someone roughly at my level, and I suck. I started to roll when my son was in Iraq, and it was a way of coping. I have, generally speaking, less stress now, but I don't have rolling to help me deal with it. My step father is deteriorating in a convalescent hospital. Someone else who disappears from life, like bedroom lights going out.

I'll need to find the energy or the time-management skills to remodel the garage, make another rental, you know, for my poor foolish mother.

Caring about people is so much trouble. But so is being alive. Something is deeply, deeply wrong, here.

J