How to Save America

Ira Glass, of This American Life, has a pitbull that bites strangers. Its needs are constantly evolving, as of specially prepared foods due to allergies, and it menaces him, and is dangerous and useless and for the past 7 years has taken up all of his and his wife’s free time. Rational thinking could only conclude that it should be put down. It has damaged the quality of his life, contributing nothing meaningful except the obvious. But he loves it. I should say, he “loves” it. I’m out of patience with parasites. At the very least he should have the dog’s teeth pulled. Cruel? See me after the dog, the PITBULL tears free of its leash and rips into a small child -- I mean “rips” literally.

 You have seen how disturbed I am. What to do what to do what to do. Somehow buy up the media outlets -- especially Spanish language? Wash out the brainwashing from Three’s Company and Married With Children? -- and that utterly perfect symbol for what America has become, reality tv? No amount of soap and hot water will ever suffice to wash such brains. It would take fire -- hopefully only, only the spiritual kind. Refining fire, my heart’s one desire; I want to be holy, set apart...

 Talk of Texas seceding. Nonsense of course. Did it once already, remember? I’ve heard it said that Texas has a special right to leave, because it had been an independent republic for a time, and voluntarily entered the Union, and therefore somehow retains the right to leave. I’d have to see the original document that ensured this right. Isn’t one. Anyway, the matter is settled.  So the Union is indissoluble. As a citizen of the once great state of California, now irredeemably ruined, I have to watch traitors and scum rape (is my diction immoderate?) the treasury and culture and middle class, wondering what will save us from the alien invasion when we’re already controlled by podpeople and demoniacs. I know, I’m mixing metaphors.  I have become unhinged.

Yes, I know, when you hear the word "culture", you reach for your speed-dial to the ACLU.  Bang.  I lose.

 How to save America? Constitutional Convention, Article V of the Constitution. So here’s the plan. I’ve been against the idea, because the quality of politician is not what it once was -- and once only, 225 years ago. But the way a Convention works, one of the options, is through the states, each state getting an equal vote. When there are 75% “red” states over “blue” states, 38, my brilliant scheme could work. Not a fresh start -- a reset, Amendments to make the rules even more clear -- like, the Constitution not being a living breathing document, but something set in stone, like the way it really is, needing amendments and conventions to change it, not the whim of judges and the arrogance of pols.

 Specifics? Please, not such inanities as an anti-flag burning amendment. Moronic. Not an anti-abortion amendment -- that’s already unconstitutional as a Federal issue: via the Declaration of Independence, under the “life” part of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” This is not a time for special issues. It’s a time for clarity. Something about fiscal responsibility, secure borders, separation of powers. Please, sir, these things are already clear, but idiots need to have facts kicked into their heads.

 Obama, all unbeknownst to the world if not to himself, is like that most disastrous former president -- not Buchanan, who fiddled while Rome burned (more aptly, who watched as kindling was gathered and flashpoints marked). Rather, Obama is a cross between Franklin Pierce (who like a Satanist conjured destruction, rehearsed the Union’s unraveling in the dryrun of Bleeding Kansas), and Jefferson Davis, the outright enemy. What else is it, to cede US sovereignty to the United Nations? You don’t see it yet. I fear that you will. Point is, we are already in revolutionary times. To arms! The Bluecoats are coming!

What were we to expect? The enemy won the Vietnam War, by which I mean the hippies, and that generation of vipers has been the ruling class for a generation.

 Ah well. You know me by now. I’m a fool, a foolish, foolish fool, and I’m just blathering here, with nothing important to say. Platitudes like save your money and tell the truth, be kind and obey just laws -- might as well leave cookies out for Santa.

 It’s just that something needs to be done, to save America. Seems like it’s worth saving, at least the idea of it. All the world rushes toward communalism, tribalism, socialism, dependence.  Let's pretend that we value the individual, and liberty, and self-reliance judiciously mixed with generosity -- you know, Americanism.  Sure it's just a fiction, but let's be idealists, and act as if it were possible.  It's not mythical, it's endangered.  Let's save it.  Liberals save crazy pitbulls. Save America.


 J