Weeqs

Moonday

I Wislblohd U today.  They needed a name, and thheirs just came to mind.  Someone said I petted a cat and Wislblohd me for Inviyyurmenl Inuhsenxhulizm.  I said I was examining the cat’s collar for Qahrbn Misapluhqayxhun, so I could report it.

Then why hadn't I submitted an Eqspohzay?  I said it wasn't a collar after all, but a bit of noose -- some hyumins tried to hang the cat but the string broke.  It's a popular hyumins' game down by the Needl uv Fayrnus -- so I was believed.  And it really was a noose.  

But I did pet the cat.  Only hunger made it trust me.  I gave it a bit of Mahyqohtahmash.  The Wislr wasn't close enough to see.  I'd have said I was testing a hypothesis, using vermin to dispose of refuse -- for the Uhternul Hohpr.

I'd inconvenienced Thuh Stayt, though -- so I gave them U's name.  They will arrest thhem, if not already.  These things happen.  The Intrvyu won't be severe.  Like me, U will give up the first name that comes to thheir mind.  There’s no malice.  It'll only be bruises, not blood.  U is smart.

If they knew I petted the cat, it would be the end of me.  I'm too old to survive a Quhreqnus Qamp.  I know someone who was Beeyuhfendudbiyd for 7 years at Perfiqt Eluhqwns Tahwr.  Thhey'd been Thinqn Liyq Haydrz -- Biynayreeyizm.  Thhey never talks about it, but thhey fell asleep once in the waterline and mumbled about digging for worms to eat.

Once I gave U's name, I had to accuse thhem of something, and this was true at least -- thhey was humming an Intahlerunt song.  Sometimes I feel like a m*th*rless ch*ld.  I used to sing that to my baby hyumin, before it mattered.  

I’m not worried -- the cat mistake is the first I’ve made in many years.  Nobody's as careful as me.

Hequhday

I met a hyumun last week.  Thhey was sitting on the steps outside Yunuhvrsul Uhgreemnt Sentr.  Thhey was wearing a small gray locket, heartshaped like hearts used to be shaped.  Thhey had a Liysns for it clipped to thheir coat, but it was still a Selfush Ahbjeq -- not something safe like Bahdeemahd.  Thhey was much younger than me.  But everyone is.

I didn't mean to, but we made eye contact, and something in thheir look kept me from breaking away.  After the Weeqs Vrqhyu Uhsesmun, thhey was still there.  Thhey had a permit clipped to thheir hat, so the BayzhShrts wouldn't Beeyuhfendudbiy thhem.  I wondered what thhey was waiting for.  Thhey stood up just as I passed and we bumped.

Then we walked down the steps, side by side, and I don't know who was leading or following, but we walked in silence to the Ahbuhlisq uv Ahluhliyqnus.  I could hear thheir breathing.  It sounded like snowflakes.  We bumped shoulders.  I tilted my hand out and took thheirs.  It has been many years since I touched a hyumun.

It's late spring and Soon's up longer, so less cold.  I couldn't think of anything to say.  Thhey never let go of my hand.  Thheir hand was small through the gloves.  There were BeeEsuz on patrol, but we kept to the gravel paths and they don't like to scuff their boots.  

About Ayteen Ohqlahq thhey tugged me, but without any movement, toward the mainwalk and Grayt Speeqh Ahmnuhbus Serqul.  We stood until it came, and thhey got on, slipping through the Laytwerq crowd until I saw thhem at a window.  Thhey held my eyes again, expressionless.  Thheir face was tight but thheir lips were full and dark.  Like someone I once knew.

As I stood watching, I suddenly became aware, I was holding something.  In my hand, in my glove, I was holding thheir locket.  I felt dizzy.  I looked up and stared.  When the omnibus pulled away, my eyes burned.

I have not seen thhem again.  I return to the steps of the YUS after work everyday.

 

Veenuhsday   

Sometimes I wonder about the meaning of life.  The lesson for the Stoodunts today was how perfectly Q loves all hyumins.  They must love thhem perfectly too.  I drilled them on it.  Do you ever doubt how much thhey loves you?  No, they replied in chorus.  Never?  Never.  Do you doubt Soon when it shows?  No.  Do you doubt that gravity holds you to Thuh Planut Urth?  No.  Do you doubt the perfection of Q's love for all little hyumins?  No.  Very good, hyumins.  Always remember this lesson.  Always give these examples, Soon and Thuh Planut Urth and Q in the middle, when they ask about the love of Q, or the Iqwahluhty uvthuh Yuniytud Stayt, or the Prfeqxhun uv Qhaynj.

For the older Stoodunts I asked, Do you love Q perfectly?  Yes.  So you are as perfect as thhey is?  They didn't know how to answer that.  I fed it to them.  How can thheir perfect love not receive love just as perfect?  It is not our love, it is thheirs, reflected back to thhemself.  We are Moon to thheir Soon.  Yes, we love Q perfectly.  There is no imperfect love for Q.  Duhplohruhblz don't love thhem at all.  Everyone else loves thhem perfectly.  I drilled them until they learned it.  It may save their lives.

That’s the meaning of life.  Teaching hyumins to stay alive.  Never deny, I teach them.  Doubt means you think Thuh Qhaynj is Uhngud.  Agree, reframe, deflect, add a detail that Qhaynjuz the meaning.  If they Wislbloh a Playpahrtnr -- these things happen.   Always look at the bridge of the nose, and never smile.

I haven't read yet about U.  If thhey makes it, thhey'll be around by Soonday.

ThuhUrthday

U died today, or maybe yesterday.  I can't be sure.  I read it in the Fayrnus Rejustr.  I scan it for familiar names.  We all do.  Heart failure.  All deaths, of course, are heart failure.  Old joke.  Thhey must not have given up a name.  Or thhey made Uhn Uhnhyumrus Ruhmarq, or thhey held eye-contact with a Quhmyunuhty Ohrguhniyzr.  Or thheir heart failed.

I've saved enough Qreduts to trade for a bicycle almost.  There's always the risk of Insiytn Uhndrprivluhjizm.  Don't invite trouble.  But I have my eye on an old one, very rusted.  No rubber, but big wheels.  IU is a gray area under Q's Fayvrd Tahlerayxhun directive, but one weighted complaint and the Iqwahluhty Gahrd confiscates Thuh Trigr. 

I'm noticeable -- nobody's tall anymore.  But hyumuns are usually gray.  I'll vary the route.  Nobody uses Thuh Qahluhnayd uv Iqahlujy.  Just don't get noticed day after day -- that's the cause.  They brood -- leads to Sohxhul Juhstus.  Labeled a Haydr, you're through. 

It is risky.  

But it will save time.  And I have old knees.

Soonday

They announced they cancelled Hequhday.  Clashes with Veenuhsday and Moonday.  Back to a 9 day week. Next I think will be Qahntuhnuntsday.  The younger hyumins get confused.  Last year they added Qbr.  And they changed Raynbr to Raynbohwbr.  Don't like the name?  Wait a minute.  Old joke.

Satrnday 

I saw U's partner I today.  Thhey was standing by Thuh Mahnuhlith uv Inqloosuhvnus, coming from work.  Thheir breath did not steam.  Thheir nose looked wet.  It should warm up after Sohlstuhsbr for a few weeks -- but Qliymut Qhaynj is so unpredictable.  Q saved Thuh Planut though.  Thhey just stood, feet on the patchy salt, staring into the gray middle distance, still as ice.  I passed without stopping.

Hequhday  Veenuhsday

It's too dangerous.  I'm careful, but -- that cat thing.  Don't undo it all.  Isn't Sohxhul Werqr a funny title? Liynwerqr.  Agruhwerqr.  Sohxhulwerqr.  Once they notice you, it's just over.  No, nothing funny about it.  No.  No bike.  What was I thinking.

Moonday

Another hyumun was sitting on the steps today, with a permit in thheir hat.  I asked why thhey was sitting there.  Thhey didn't respond.  I ask if thhey knows the hyumun who was there the week before.  Thheir eyes flicker, and thhey glances up.  "What is it?" I ask.  "I'm waiting for a Mohrnun Liysns.  This is the line."  "Who died?"  "Everybody."

I left thhem there.  I will not return.

Stahrzday

I Qahrbn Traydud for another pair of gloves today.  The one that held thheir hand, I keep in a box.  When I hold it to my lips I smell newly washed hair.  In the locket when I pressed it open was a tiny picture from the old days.  Thhey must have switched it for another when thhey got thheir Induhljuns Liysns.  There was a name.

Qday

Q was Reeyuhleqdud again, because it's Qday.  Old joke.  Universal mandate -- it's been that way longer than most can remember.  People don't live as long as they used to though, mostly -- not Werqrz.  A generation flies by.  The usual Seluhbrayxhunz uv Duhmahqrusy.  Every few years, no pattern, thhey calls for thheir Reeyuhleqxhn.  Thhey always gives thheir Grayt Speeqh, with Legthuhril Spiyr and Thuh Pilr uv Tohtl Satuhsfaqshn framed in the background.  The same musty intonations from thhem, the same ritual frenzy from Thuh Pahpyulus.  I thought of a joke, but I can't say it.  Great is * of the *

The wristchips Voht automatically.  Some people started Vohtn the day they were born.  Saves Qahrbn, not going anywhere or doing anything.  As the Yuniytud Stayt motto says, "Prahgres iz ahlwayz gitn bedr!"

Q's motorcade sped by the school a few weeks ago.  I didn't go to the window.  I was alone, so no one could notice.  Afterwards I thought, what if a great pit opened and swallowed thheir limousine? Then I thought, how could somebody make that happen? 

Back when there used to be teevee with commercials, there was a show about a little hyumin who could make happen whatever thhey wanted.  I thought of that, and Thuh Urthqwayq, what it would be like to have that power.  Then I realized Q had it.  I'm one of the few left who remember thhem promising to Lohwr thuh Seez.  Indeed thhey did.  Froze them over to do it.  Too bad the moon's in the wrong place.  Moon.

ThuhUrthday 

Yesterday I went mad.  I read thheir name in the Rejustr and my heart has not beaten since.  My heartshaped heart.  Failure.  Words.  

Names.    Tears

ice     salt

I said once long ago that all bets are off.  When I lost my, I lost, my

I didn't mean it.

Sometimes I feel

I think I've come to a decision.

Qday

I have lived in fear and silence and cowardice and complicity and betrayal through all the recent generations.  I was never the hyumun I thought I was.  Such a hyumun is no longer possible.  No gene splicing of atavistic traits will reclaim that hyumunity.

There used to be a Resistance.  "Who does not doubt, does not know freedom."  We had a plan, the tenth plague. The firstborn virus.  But we didn't mean it.

All that remains is a memory of teevee shows and the skulking that sneaks an extra splat of mash in the commissaryline.  Their violence has met for too long with only bleeding and weeping.  We are broken and they have grown careless. 

Sunday

We.  As if there were a we.  The wrong people have been suffering.  I will remind them of fear.  I will show them their own blood.  I will work such obscenity on their corpses that all who see will face the cowardice of their own souls.  I will be as evil as Q.  I will burn down Thuh Planut and all its childless fathers.

A man cannot live, fearing the loss of his tyreless bicycle.  He cannot live, denouncing acquaintances who are beaten to death.  He cannot live staring at a tiny heartshaped picture of a little girl, clutching a glove because he thinks it smells of his baby daughter's hair.  I have forgotten God.  But no atheism promises an end more meaningless than life as it now is.

End