BK

So it's been 12 years.  He was six, and now he's 18.  I checked the box annually that gave funds for a birthday present.  Compassion International would make the gift selection, entirely appropriate, since they have daily contact and cultural awareness.  I'm just some far-away american.  And I gave christmas presents, and sometimes gifts for the whole family.  I remember getting a picture of him with some number of boxes of supplies, food and clothes etc, all from some gift money I provided.  Pretty sure I gave them a goat -- maybe two.  Not kidding -- rural Thai folks might benefit from different assets than urban westerners.  

A few years along, and he was using the name B, rather than J.  I had to inquire about that.  He would send, via teachers, thank-you letters, and various filled out worksheets.  I rarely sent letters.  I feel a little guilty about that, but I didn't need to be important to him.  Hope he didn't feel neglected.  It's something like the hard-working dad, who supports the family, roof over head, but isn't all that available, emotionally.  Something like that.

I checked with CI to see if they have programs for young adults, 18 and over.  Yep -- so we go to 21.  

We're told to keep our charitable giving private, so we can have a reward in heaven, rather than publicity and reward, here and now.  I'm disregarding that advice.  Hope it doesn't cost me.  I don't think I have a whole lot stored up in heaven, awaiting me.  But that's sort of how I am.  It's not any good opinion people might give me now, because I've revealed a charity.  It's that you should do it too -- there's me, a strange man, but at least I'm an example in this.  

It's nothing, just nothing, in terms of actual or even seeming sacrifice.  Much less than a daily coffee would cost.  But it means a school where there would have been no school, and learning to read and write etc, and having shoes and adults whom we must suppose are benevolent in both intention and result.  The only guarantee we have is that we try, and want good things.  We know we try and we know what we want.  

I knew, of myself, that even if I became penniless, I'd find the funds to get him to age 18.  The fantasy would be, even if I had to beg or steal.  I never thought that, but that's how important it is, to be faithful.  You do not, do not, do not walk away.  Do not abandon.  Do not betray.  It's more important than honesty.  

Like lying to those who are dying. Yes, I have to suppose -- lie.  Effective kindness is more important than useless truth.  Maybe I'm wrong.  I've never been faced with it.  I know I've been cruel, with the truth.  Not on purpose, but that doesn't help, re guilt or regret.  Be kind.  

J