Inside

The "Truthers." Good lord. Nine Eleven was an inside job. For some reason it was deemed by the Madmanistration to be a really good idea to destroy a trillion dollars of the American Economy, and up to 60,000 innocent lives, along with some dozens of square blocks of upscale Manhattan real estate.

The evidence is there for all to see, of course. I mean, the Towers came down, didn't they? What more proof do you need? And for all that al Qaeda is allegedly inimical to the interests of the USA, well, we are reluctant to just come out and say it, but, uh, they are after all only Arabs. How could they plan and carry out such a thing. Clearly it was Bushitler and the CIA.

Evidence? Steel doesn't melt! Ever! And the landlord of Building 7, Larry Silverstein, said to the fire commander, "Maybe the smartest thing to do is to pull it." This doesn't mean "Stop the salvage attempt. Bring out the contingent of firefighters, for their safety". It means "Commence demolition! Mwaahaha!" Even though fire commanders don't do demolitions. Irrelevant details bore me. I'm trying to save the planet, for gawd's sakes.

Why did The Chimp do it? It's so obvious.

And he also did it to get the US into a war with Saddam. That's why he blamed Osama. And, uh, also another reason is the oil too. Starting wars with Arabs is good for the oil. Of course. It's so obvious. I don't have to explain it.

But what really proves how evil The Decider is is that that Bobo had had a job with the Saudis or something in the nineties. I forget the details, but details are for people who aren't sure of themselves. And what proves how stupid Baby Bush is is that he should have staged this obviously phony so-called 9/11 in Mexico.

I don't know all that much about Mexico. Traveled through there a bit in 1980. It's very corrupt. Backward. Not generally safe for odd white men who refuse to pay bribes. So I can't say what great modern architectural landmarks Mexico has. Lots of oil revenue pouring into the pockets of corrupt aparatchikitos though, so there must be some towering corporate pyramids commemorating whatever Mexico's version of national Revolutionary pride is.

Why didn't the Insiders arrange an "al Qaeda" "attack" on Mexico?

Dear Mexicans --

We hate you. Here's a big exploding building to prove it.

Yours Truly,

Osama and Saddam.

PS -- Death to Mexico! Viva Allah!

The benefits to the USA are so clear! An attack on Mexico City would have inflamed Mexican patriotism so greatly that Mexicans would actually start loving their country, instead of fleeing it by the millions. Loving it in a meaningful way, I mean -- not just empty emotional nationalistic and razista pride -- loving it in a way that pays a price for it. Imagine, Mexicans actually wanting to stay and defend their own country. Talk about a revolution. Try to make it better, reform it, instead of throwing up their hands, packing themselves into a trunk and ship-slipping over the northern frontier.

And all those useless extra Mexicans in Mexico that are useful only in the USA, so much so that the corrupt Mexican government actively pursues a policy of northward invasion (it's a more profitable way of population reduction than, say, plague) -- all those unwanted Mexicans could have been conscripted into the Mexican Army and sent to conquer Iraq -- which, remember, was the obvious reason The Shrub caused 9/11.

The benefits to the US should be manifest. Rather than chanting Osama at soccer games and booing American beauty queens, Mexicans might get a sense of how fortunate they are to have the US for a neighbor. Porfirio Diaz said, "Poor Mexico. So far from God, and so close to the United States." Things must have changed in the intervening seven score years. Without the USA to periodically bail out Poor Mexico from the consequences of its corruption and incompetence, Mexico would be Darfur. Things might be a tad different if, say, Mexico found itself hanging off the belly of the USSR. If Mexico had been nine-elevened, by Butch of course, we still must understand that America would have stood by its ally, in exactly the way that Mexico has left us out in the cold. Sort of a one-way alliance going on. Mexico is an ally, right? Oh. No. It's not. Well, the only terrorism Mexico knows is what it makes itself. Gangs, don't you know.

It just goes to show how evil and stupid The Cowdoofus is. He loves Mexico and hates the US. Like us Lefties. But we hate America for the right reasons.


J