Sarah

Future president Sarah Palin. Good for so many reasons. She's hot, in that healthy, active, real-woman way. I can't tell you how refreshing that is. You look at her and see what womanhood really is -- not a mere appearance, something to hang off a suit sleeve. No. You see humor and strength and competence. You see someone you marry because she will be a superb mother, and someone who is utterly secure in her femininity and her sexuality. My goodness. I think I'm a little in love. Usually I like teenage girls, or the plastic-boobed botoxed collagen-lipped bimbos, like all the other fading middle aged former-jocks.

McCain was who we had resigned ourselves on settling for. A very impressive and admirable individual. Guts like people like me only read about. A hero. But not a conservative. So we conservatives, being mature and practical, understand about compromises, and get behind him. But by his choice of Sarah, he just solidified the right. Now we can be enthusiastic. Because we understand that Sarah has a national platform now, and if they win, she will be positioned to win the presidency in the next cycle, or the one following. Brilliant.

And it's a sop to those folks who vote identity politics. Squishy left women now have a choice. And whom would they opt for? A black man, or a woman? Well, he's black, but he's a man. Sarah is a woman, albeit not an abortionist. Upon which horn of the dilemma will they impale themselves? At least now they have a choice.

And you've noticed the odd grace between Sarah and Hillary. Again, a dilemma. But we have a sort of ally. I like that. A lot. I would love to have the clintons on our side. How very strange that would be. I try to be pragmatic, and understand that while you can't do business with Hitler, there is that enemy-of-my-enemy thing. In bed with the devil? That only applies if there's been some deals made. The devil gets into everybody's bed -- some of us just don't have sex with him.

If I ran a campaign, I'd absolutely take donations from drug dealers and pornographers and lobbyists. I'd then give it to charities dealing with drugs and porn and the like. And make sure it was known. This is one time when you should blow trumpets to announce your giving. Point is, use what you can, to do good. The clintons are tools. If they use us to beat Obama so the road is clear in four years ... uh, how's that a bad thing again? If they use Sarah as the excuse to not entirely support Obama, well, let's not call it "using"; in this case they're not parasites, they're symbiots.

But I was talking about Sarah. Pro-life, in the very most practical way. She had a highly-abortable fetus. Down Syndrome, with that extra chromosome. Abort abort abort. But she didn't. A hero, then. Two heroes on the ticket. How beautiful. She's a marathoner. She knows something then about being tough. A basketball star and a beauty queen. An expert on one of the two defining issues of our day -- energy. A reformer, who bucks the corrupt Republican establishment in Alaska. Her selection neutralizes the "minority" monopoly of the Dems. Her youth and inexperience seem to match that of Obama; in actuality, she has executive experience where Obama does not. She has ethics cred where Obama does not. She has expertise in energy, whereas Obama has expertise in ... in, uh, um, er, y'see, uh, yo ... giving memorized or telepropted speeches.

Hillary made her "sisterhood of the pants suit" joke. I haven't noticed yet if Sarah wears pants suit. She seems like a skirt kind of gal. How refreshing. But you just know that if she wears a pants suit, it won't be because she's trying to look serious. The selection will be made because of practical considerations.

Perceptions? On stage together, Obama and Biden look like some rich dude and his bodyguard. McCain and Sarah look like a family. I'm admittedly biased. I try to be objective, though, but there's just something askew about the Dems. Youth or race or whatever. I don't know. It isn't a match. And I think what makes the Republican pair look good -- it could look like an old dude with his mistress -- is that Sarah doesn't, and can't, come off as a mistress. She looks like she knows who she is. Man is that appealing.

Had McCain picked anyone else, he would have lost. This is not a year for a pair of old white guys. Romney would have been a disaster -- I won't go into why. Any of the others would have had only niche appeal. Perception does matter. What this choice projects is an air of confidence and independence and, uh, change. She's for the teaching of creationism in schools, alongside Evolutionism. Not afraid, you see. She's opposed to gay marriage, but vetoed a bill denying benefits to gay partners. Seems reasonable. Such benefits are fungible assets, devoid of inherent moral content.

Here it is: we finally have two candidates who are truly authentic. McCain is unassailable, for the obvious reason. Now we find his match. A woman whose actions match her talk. An evangelical, creationist Christian, who in her forties chose, chose to usher into the world of light and air an innocent if afflicted infant. She seems to me like the woman described at the end of the Book of Proverbs. Ideal.


J