The State of the Onion

"We’re the only nation on Earth that has always turned every crisis we’ve faced into an opportunity, the only nation that can be defined by a single word: possibilities. 

"So, on this night, on our 245th year as a nation, I’ve come to report on the state of the nation — the state of the union. And my report is this: The State of the Union is strong because you, the American people, are strong. 

"We are stronger today — we are stronger today than we were a year ago. And we’ll be stronger a year from now than we are today." 

Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr 

March 1, 2022

Is it true? Are we stronger today than a year ago?  Could it be untrue?  A broken promise? -- or rather, a lie?  We're strong not because of our Constitution, our institutions, our infrastructure, our integrity, industry, ingenuity, our rule of law, our ability to delay gratification, our willingness for sacrifice...?  But because we are us?  We have positive self-esteem?  Our strength is that there are possibilities? We're strong because we are strong?  Did Harris write this speech?

When was the Afghanistan bugout?  Year-before last, I think. So that was a low point -- hard to get worse.  But, oh, inflation? Carter-style inflation.  Another one-term president. 

Every crisis, an opportunity.  Yeah.  The Civil War, an opportunity for war, and Jim Crow.  Nine-eleven - gigantic government and war... 

"Never let a crisis go to waste." 

Leftist theorist Saul Alinsky and leftist political hack Rahm Emanuel

Ho hum, I'm bored.  

Biden's only true statement, above, is that we are a nation on Earth.  Well, let me just check outside, to make sure.  Yes, the moon.  Gravity feels normal.  I can breathe.  Not sure about the temperature ... shouldn't it be, um, warmer after all these months?

As for being a nation, well I just looked it up: "a large body of people united by common descent, history, culture, or language, inhabiting a particular country or territory."  Oh.  Troubling.  But yes, we are a large body of people, just as Earth is a large body of matter.  United?  Common descent?  Common history?  Common culture or language?  Does "particular country or territory" require identifiable borders? But ... this is from an older dictionary -- you know, one that doesn't have all the correct pronouns -- if they've all been discovered yet, identified. 

So, sure, we're, uh, yeah, why not, we're a nation. Not as united as the Nation of Islam, or as shared a history as the mormons, or as shared a language as, say, Canada, or Switzerland, or the Austro-Hungarian empire.  But, sure.  We'll just say that "united" and "diversified" mean the same thing.  Diversity is our strength.  Forgot to include that one, didn't you, Biden slash Harris.  

The State of the Diversity Address, for the Diversified States of America.  We're "the only nation that can be defined by a single word: possibilities and diversity."  So score one for Biden.

The state of the Union is in my locked garage next to my 1967 vintage Corvette Stingray -- it has 360 horsepower and I drove it a hunerd an sixy miles an hour!  Varoom! [many car-racing sounds -- thunderous applause]

The state of the Union is buoyant, see it floating up there?  I'm not joking, I'm serious, I mean it, literally ... oh! the MAGA Republicans shot it! Did you just see that?!?  That was bad for the climate change!  They are bad! Very bad!!!  Booo!!!  My big balloon got popped!  Can I have ice cream now?  Is it time yet?  I've been good! Very good!  Your hair smells nice! I'm not joking!

J