Monday, July 31, 2006


It's all over the news, so much so that even I have heard it. I, who have draped myself in the hygenic gauze of indifference to mere gossip. I, who from the lofty coign of my Olympian purview deign not to notice such paltry matters. But did you know that Mel Gibson is an anti-Semite?! It seems that he was motoring in an intoxicated stupor, and when pulled over inquired if the officer was a Jew ... you know, those people who are responsible for all the wars, he reportedly inferred. Reportedly. Let's take it as read that the reports are accurate. Mel has a drinking problem, it seems, and an anger problem, and a problem with expressing socially unacceptable racial views. Mel has problems.

What are we to make of this? And should we even have heard of it? Well, since Mel is a public and influential figure, the report of his DUI and his outburst is not entirely unjustified. People who have a loud public voice open themselves up to being heard even when they speak quietly. It is not unreasonable to hear of such things, and need not even count as gossip. Thus Christopher Hitchens goes after Mel with hammer and tongs. That Jesus movie, after all. So hateful to Jews. And his father, what a Jew-basher. And what Mel himself said. And that weird sect he belongs to. And the harsh things he's said about homosexuals. My my. It’s very clear. Mel dislikes the Jews. Not necessarily a Jew, not necessarily every Jew, but the Jews. Well. Hitchens is very reasonable sometimes, and surprising non-toxic in several ways, for a God-hater. But he could be wrong.

This bill of indictment has only one valid point, which consists of what Mel himself has actually said. I did see the movie and aver that, aside from some made-up stuff about Satan, it was a faithful presentation of the Passion. One can hardly say with credibility that the Jews who wrote the bulk of the New Testament were anti-Semitic. One can hardly maintain that the King of the Jews is head of an anti-Semitic religion. Stupid adherents? Where is this not the case? But anti-Semitism as a biblical doctrine? The idea is puerile. As for Mel’s father, he is what he is, and I simply don’t care. He is insufficiently a public figure for me to bother to formulate an opinion. We do not countenance a corruption of blood, in America. The sins of the fathers are not visited upon the heads of the sons. As for Mel’s sect -- please.

But there is what Mel said. Alcohol is outside my area of personal knowledge. I’ve never taken a drop. But observation encourages me to believe that it loosens the tongue. Am I wrong? I think not. We might suppose that what issued from his mouth is a reflection of his soul. As a man speaketh, so is he. The question then is: So what?

I don’t care what Mel Gibson’s private opinions are about the Jews. If he violently expressed offensive ideas about the Danes, my own people, I would dismiss him as a buffoon and expend no more thought on the matter. But purity of one's private opinions play no part in my limus tests. I loath Adam Sandler as an "actor" not because he is Jewish, anymore than I would respect him because he is reportedly conservative: I loath Sandler because he is monumentally unfunny and untalented, yet titters at his own "jokes." It's unprofessional. And an Intolerable Outrage! Likewise, for Mel, I care only what he does. I am not the judge of his secret heart, or even of his private and unconsidered excited utterances. I am the judge of his actions, as we all must be. Spiritual matters are between God and the individual. Material matters are the proper consideration of society and of involved individuals. If Mel made anti-Semitic movies, we should and must condemn him, shun him, revile him. He has not done so. If he gives financial aid to hate-groups, he must be boycotted. I have no knowledge that he does so.

We all have shameful thoughts, unworthy ideations. About women or men, or races, or whatever. These are generally, and best, kept private, immured within the chamber of horrors we call our skulls. Some monsters can't be killed, only entombed, living but contained, to rage and slaver hidden from the light of day. Even if they’re left over from our childhood, and buried, and repudiated, and forgotten and almost extinguished or extinct, they remain. And when we are under some utmost pressure, when we have backed out of our cerebral cortex and crawled into some lower part of the brain, when we operate at a level that has nothing to do with rationality and everything to do with instinct and reflex -- are we to be judged, at such times, if the monster's roar is heard? It depends what we do, at such times. For my part, I do not count words as actions. If I call you a race name, shame on me. If I batter your skull in with a large rock, um, well, that’s more than a shame.

Mel Gibson should stop drinking. It calls up the ugliness in his soul that would best remain buried, if not cleansed. For his DUI, his should be prosecuted. It is unacceptable. My father has spent the past 35 years in daily pain, because of a drunk driver. I have very little forgiveness in my heart, for such irresponsibility. Drunken driving, like drunken discharging of firearms toward a crowd, must be dealt with. Fine. Let’s get Mel, the same as we got any of those drunken Kennedy drivers. Oh, wait. Bad example. Well, you know what I mean. But as for the rest of it, my response, aside from these several paragraphs, is to stifle a large yawn, and write a hate piece about those stinking Arabs.

Just kidding. I love the stinking Arabs. Oh, wait, that didn’t come out right. I meant the stinking Mexicans. I love them. Wait. That’s not what I meant. Um, well, you know what I mean. It’s women. I love those dirty whores. No, the blacks, or do I mean the Jews. I just love them all to hell. Damn, I’m out of beer. Hey Sheila, get me another Schlitz, and be quick about it, bitch.



Rantin' Ron said...

Having another 'turrets syndrom' moment again Jack? You forgot the Chinese.

What slays me about the whole Gibson saga is how Hollywood is so outraged by this incident yet Hugh Grant, Michael Jackson, Roman Poles-young-girls-ski etc. pretty much get a pass. No outrage there.

Screw Hollywood. I've pretty much had my movie choices whittled down to John Wayne or Jimmy Stewart movies. I can't bear to even look at some of those wackos much less financially support 'em.


GUYK said...

Hell, it's a free country and Mel can say what ever he wants to say about Jews or anyone else for that matter. But that doesn't mean I have to agree with him just because he's a celeb and has a lot of money. I am damn sure not among the politically correct and figure that free speech includes the right to use whatever racial slurs and insinuations one wants to use. But freedom also means that I can call him whatever I want and tell the world that I have lost respect for him as a person and seein' as how I never met him I didn't have a whole lot to begin with.

delftsman3 said...

As always, you've condensed it into a large nutshell with your own style of wit and humor.

Jack H said...

All those other celebs -- well, the word pickledillos (did I spell that right?) comes to mind. Theirs are only *sexual* failings ... if such a thing is possible. Mel's crime is of the very worst sort: a thought crime! Remember the scene in the Body Snatchers? He is not one of them!

As for Hollywood, I went to Hollywood High, so I'll thank you to leave your biggoted hateful diatribes against this fabulous paradise OUT of my beautiful blog comments page! ... No, I'm still not over it. ... Okay, I just need a moment. ... (*Yeah, hey, Raul? Can we talk? I'm just having a little problem. Someone really hurt my feelings with their insensitivity ... uh huh ... yeah ... okay. Love to Bertand. Bye-bye.*) Alright, RR, I'm back. So, what? -- you're from like Armpit, North Carolina, huh? Yeah, um, that's a really dumb place to be from! (YEAH -- in his FACE!)

But Mel really does seem to be turning into Michael J Fox -- all that twitching and grimacing. Maybe it's the monster trying to escape. I think HE has Turrets. Or is that insensitive of me. (*Hello, Raul...*)


Rantin' Ron said...

Actually, it's "Nutsack, North Carolina" but I can understand the mistake. Armpit, NC is much more well known Rain Man.

Jack H said...

Oh, Rain Man. Sorry -- for some reason, I'd gotten the idea for some reason it was Rantin' Ron, for some reason. About a hundred dollars worth. Must be a faulty micro chip in my brian -- the same one that mistook Armpit for Nutsack ... although I thought it was spelled "Nughtsaque," an Chowanoc Indian word meaning "Armpit."


Rantin' Ron said...


Freakin' PRICELESS! Too damned funny!

D.Daddio Al-Ozarka said...

To heck with Mel! To HELL with the rest of Hollywood! In the figurative sense.

Jack H said...

Dear Secret Internet Diary --

I couldn't BELIEVE it!!! Did you hear what he SAID?!?!?!!!???!!! About Hollywood??!?! How RUDE!!!!! I am going to write him SUCH a note!!! To insult the greatest city in the history of the world, home of the greatest industry humanity has ever known!!!! If Hollywood was a person, it would be Einstein and Shakespeare (or Shakesqueer, as we like to say) and Buddha, all rolled up into one. Well, I just feel sorry for him, that's all.