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Friday, February 6, 2009

Another Reason I'm Smarter Than You

What do these words have in common:

voodoo
banana
grammar
dresser
revive
uneven
potato

I got it. Right away. It was so easy. I am so smart. I'm amazed that you can't see it. Pathetic. Just pitiful. Don't worry, little monkey, I'll tell you. But first you have to beg. Beg for the man, Bobo, beg so prettily. Now dance. Hop up and down on one foot, and sing me a song. Good. Yeah, that's right. You know the way it is. But don't you feel dirty? Begging like that, and making such a fool of yourself. No dignity at all. Like an animal. Just pathetic. I wish I'd never married you.


J

15 comments:

Jack H said...

Of course you gave up. How could it be otherwise. Maybe if you'd tried harder you might have gotten it. But that would have been too much work, wouldn't it. Don't worry, the government has programs to take care of you. Would you like some free cheese? Just don't forget to brush your teeth afterwards. And wash your hands with soap and hot water after you go potty.

Yes, the words are all in English, which is a human language. That's what an idiot would notice. Very good for you to have noticed. You've almost graduated from idiot to imbecile. Someday you might even get to be a moron. Something to strive for. But that's not it. And they're also all in italics. Golly, you're so rad! Did your mommy point that out to you?

Yes, genius, they all have two or three syllables. Wow, you're so smart. I really admire you. Good job. But that's not it.

Yes, they all use only three or four letters, and have a total of 6 or 7 letters. Has the RAND Corporation contacted you yet? You're a regular rain man.

Oh, by the way, my IQ is 164. That's the 99.9990072440th percentile. That means I'm the smartest person in Pasadena, pop. 143,731 -- 160th largest city in America. Well, Pasadena has Caltech, so we won't count the math geniuses. They're all spazzholes anyway. My stellar intellect is the reason I'm so happy and successful. All the hot chicks really dig smart dudes like me. I wear a gold Promethean medallion and put a potato in my underwear. The front of my underwear. Don't ask why -- you're not smart enough to understand anyway. Let's just say it's something really smart dudes like me like to do.

All the words are partial palindromes. Move the first letter to the end, and it's the same word, backwards.


J

nanc said...

okay - i've now had my dose of humility for the day. i hope i can go on...

Jack H said...

There's humility, and there's humiliation. I don't know who this "Jack" character is, but talk about your "spazzholes."


J

nanc said...

i think i've met my crotchety alternate universe self!

Jack H said...

I'm sorry. I just couldn't be bothered to respond.

J

Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Jack H. said:

"All the words are partial palindromes. Move the first letter to the end, and it's the same word, backwards."

Damn! I knew that!

Actually, I did figure it out, but it took me about 20 seconds, and I arrived at the answer by noticing some letter repetition and working outwards from there.

So ... I'm not as smart as you.

By the way, what's the scientific name for a pushmi-pullyu?

A palindromedary.

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

Jack H said...

H -- I'm looking for the way to delete your comment. I can't handle the competition.

I read all the Dr. D books when I was a kid. Um, I was, uh, three at the time. No, two. Yeah, I was two years old. When I was three I'd finished Shakespeare. Yeah. That sounds plausible.

J

Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Well, you're far ahead of me. I didn't even start talking till I was two.

No worries...

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

Jack H said...

I hardly know what to say, in the face of such courtesy and graciousness. There's nothing for me to *push* against. Nothing to *argue* about. I am left with nothing. It's very flusterating. Surely there must be *something* to fight about. How else will I know who I am?


J

American Crusader said...

hahahaha...not bad!

Jack H said...

"Not bad"? Please, sir, my blushes. Your praise is too effusive. How could I live up to such encomium. You call down the very stars! "Not bad"!!! Such glory did not rest upon the mightiest of Pharaohs! I am humbled. In the face of such hyperbole, I must fall silent.


J

Will C. said...

"A palindromedary"

Hmmm, I didn't know the Gov. from Alaska had a constellation named after her already?!?

Jack H said...

In my mind, she is vice president.

bob k. mando said...

All the words are partial palindromes. Move the first letter to the end, and it's the same word, backwards.


you mean, like "race car" ... only different?

[scratches head]

mmmm, "race care", that would work.

Jack H said...

"Race" care. You people just can't leave it alone, can you. How I pity you.