Recipes --

by which I mean things you should do to increase the rationality, quality and/or hygiene of your life:

1. Never pet a cat that has a wet tail.

2. If you shave your head, be sure to shave your back too.

3. Eat properly.

Okay, maybe those first two aren't all that universally practical. But eating properly is always a good idea. So I'll elaborate. I eat two meal a day. By meals, I mean meals of excellent nutrition. Not just food. Nutrition. Anything you can eat -- that is, anything you can fit into your mouth might be called food. Yuck. By meals, I also mean meals of an appropriate quantity. Never eat more than you can carry. Never swallow anything bigger than your head.

So. I have a berry-fruit smoothie for breakfast & lunch. Very easy, and superb nutrition. I take a handful (as it were) each of frozen blueberries, mixed raspberries, blackberries and strawberries, etc, cherries, mixed mango, pineapple and kiwi, etc, and blend it with an appropriate amount of water. Add a tablespoon of protein powder, some coconut oil, some flax seed oil, some aloe vera juice. It's all to taste.

The ORAC value is off the charts (google "orac antioxidant" and give yourself an education). Amazingly low in calories -- the oils bring it up, but they are essential too. Flax seed oil is a precursor to the omega 3 EFAs (google "efa epa dha", or just look at Wikipedia). Coconut oil is indeed a saturated fat, but it's a medium chain fatty acid, which metabolizes more like a carb -- it has seven rather than the usual nine calories per gram, and it's thermogenic (makes you burn more calories than it contributes), and, weirdly, it's highly antiviral (I won't go into the reasons). There are satiation receptors in the brain that monitor for fats, and by adding a small amount you'll help yourself figure out that you're not hungry. I use a veggie based protein powder, just a tablespoon or so -- because I exercise so much. The aloe vera is just an anti-inflammatory perk.

A blender-full makes four or five glasses. One every two or three hours is ideal. What, it's not solid? Well, yes and no. But so what? Do you chew soup? You just go argue with yourself. Or you could bother to inform yourself of the facts. I'm just giving recipes, here.

The other meal is a sort of vegetable stew. Frozen broccoli, cauliflower, mixed peppers, corn and peas and green beans and string beans and carrots, and whatever else catches your eye at the store. Bring it to a boil, chop in a tomato and some extra-firm tofu (oh grow up). Pretty boring and not all that flavorful. So add seasonings. I add lots of apple cider vinegar (google it), a splash of extra virgin olive oil, turmeric (anti-inflammatory), cayenne pepper (trust me, it's good for you ... but watch out), cinnamon (weirdly, it increases your insulin receptivity -- a very good thing), basil, oregano, parsley, any other spices that catch my eye, and something called Bragg Liquid Aminos -- very savory and makes all the difference ... really tasty.

There's the hunger of an empty belly, which isn't hunger at all. Then there's the hunger from not getting enough nutrients -- biochems that your body needs to build and repair itself. The standard American diet -- SAD -- is really good at causing high-calorie malnutrition. Empty calories. Calories, from my perspective, are not the defining characteristic of food. Nutrients are. It's the difference between eating, say, just sugar (ALL carbs break down into glucose), or (complex) veggies and fruits and berries. One will, eventually, make you sick and kill you. Literally. The other will bring optimal health. Empty calories, opposed to nutrient-dense calories.

There are plenty of easy-to-read books on intelligent nutrition. SuperFoods Rx, for example. Not moonbeam, not vegetarian. You don't have to fast -- although it's a phenomenal way to rebuild health. Don't argue with me. Educate yourself. I fasted for ten days once. Just water. It was easy. No lie. You don't have to be vegetarian, although it eludes me as to why you think you need to devour the rotting albeit refrigerated carcass of some factory-bred vertebrate. It starts to rot as soon as you kill it. Then it rots inside your guts. Why do you think dead things stink? Didn't you know that? But no, really, somehow eating meat is really gonna make you big and strong. Protein, you know. Meat is a complete protein! Complete! That's so much better than incomplete! Incomplete is so bad! And protein, complete (!) protein is like the only really important nutrient. That and carbs. But carbs are also bad. That Atkins is the bomb! And all them phytochemicals is all just too confusing. And fruits is for fruits. Real men eat meat. Vegetarians is all fags. Yeah.

There. That wasn't too preachy, was it? I disguise my preachiness through sarcasm. Clever, eh? Do what you want, but do what you can. If I have any regular readers, I would hope that it's not just because you find some amusing lines here and there. I would hope that even where you disagree with me, you respect the integrity that I strive to bring to these efforts. If I have earned any trust at all, let my lean on it now, and urge you, with every measure of sincerity that I possess, to inform yourself in these matters. Health is not magic. We build it, out of food.

This blog is the dark template of my ego. I indulge myself here in socially inappropriate ways. The anonymity of the format encourages me to revelations, however veiled, that I have not courage to share more directly. But it is not ego, it is not artfulness, it is not me blathering on about my abs, when I assert that I am very surprising, physically -- for any age, let alone late-40s. There is a reason for this, and it has little to do with heritage or native intelligence or special standing before God. It has to do with nearly 30 years of prudence. Food can kill you, and it can, really it can, make you well. It's not too late. It's not about being me. Be moderate, which means be responsible. When you notice results, it gets easier. Then it becomes the only way to be. But oh, for the leeks of Egypt!

4. Never reply to an email purporting to be from Suha Arafat.



J