Touching Bases

But that's not really what I meant to say. Sometimes I have to go with an image. Speaking as the artist, I'm disappointed. Not that it isn't evocative. It's just that it's nothing new. Sometimes the voice is the story -- in any case I've said as much with it as I expect I can. That's what I mean. Disappointing. If it had been the first such effort, I'd be pleased. But that was months ago. If he does not grow, he withers.

What I meant to say is that I'm feeling much much better. I feel like I've taken a month off from rolling. The ache is gone, and the knees are good. I think I'll be fasting once a week from now on. Not a calorie thing. Just a chance for the body to handle the inflammation that's associated with the ache. Maybe it's a cause and effect thing. I don't know. Haven't seen any data on it. Of course we don't draw general conclusions from isolated instances. But I'm not writing a dissertation on the subject, so I'm allowed to generalize. (Did I ever tell you I wrote someone's masters dissertation for them? I've decided that this means I have a masters in sociology. Took me eight hours, start to finish. I'm brilliant.)

I was talking with a really heavy fella today, and suggested that he try a short fast. No, I didn't bring it up. He did. I'm not Mr Answerman. Anymore. My reasoning was that it might help him get a handle on his appetites. You recall what I mean. I am the master, it is the servant. I ride this horse, it doesn't ride me. For him it wouldn't be about the 2400 calories that he'd burn without replacement. It would be about shrinking the stomach, and dealing with the cravings. Guilt is earned just the same way self-esteem is -- by our conduct. I think a single day fast is too brief for the starvation reflex to kick in, where calories are hoarded because the body expects a famine. But even if that's the case, the psych benefits of an actual fast, rather than a stupid diet, could offset that negative.

So from feeling like the mummy of Amon Ra last week, I'm feeling good. I'm gonna take Thursday off too, and do another little fast. Roll Friday, off Saturday, compete Sunday. Came in at 179 today, which is goal weight. So things are moving along splendidly. Expect I'll weigh in on Saturday. It's a fairly long drive to do that, but I'd rather not have any pressure at all on that account, Sunday. What do you think? Sounds fine?

I was told that one can compete in both divisions, thirties, and also twenties. Masters and Adults. Cool. I wondered if I could also compete in the forties division. That way I'll get at least three matches. I don't know that I have any business expecting to win. But I'm there for the experience. I've become quite overbearing since I won those two gold medals at that world championship a while back. Maybe you heard about it? I'm all over the internet. People drop by just to see me. So I tell myself. Why else? It's the only thing that makes sense. But no gi is a different game, and these are younger guys. The fellows I competed with were all old. My age, but old. I'm a phenomenon. How many times do I have to repeat that, before you get it? It's getting tiresome. You make me sound immodest. I'm very modest. Both overbearing and modest. I am vast. I contain multitudes.

So what do you think? Sounds groovy? Don't think I haven't noticed how I have to carry the conversation. A little feedback would be nice. I do have good listening skills, you know. I'm a trained communicator. You never tell me anything. It's a little unfair. But if I can serve to brighten your humdrum day, that's fine. I'm a giver. Brilliant, overbearing, modest and a giver.

Insecure? Why would you say that? People like to try to hurt me, but I didn't expect it from you. I think maybe we'd better give this relationship a little breathing room. Maybe you'll appreciate how special I really am, if you didn't always have me around to meet your every need. Yeah. A little space. For things to cool down. Like your temper. How'd you like that? Not so much, eh? Well then, choose your words carefully. I'm not made of stone. I just look that way.

Oh. Young D got my back tonight, and locked in a nasty rear naked choke. Hooks and all. Arched back. No gi. Nasty. Excuses? I don't make excuse. He did what he did, and that's that. It was only ego that kept me from tapping. Good ego, not stupid ego. You can get it, but you have to take it. I'm not going to just give it. Three or four more seconds and he would have done it. But I figured he'd tire, and he did. I don't mind at all. He never wants to roll with me. Maybe now he will. I'll start from turtle with him. Challenge my game. Give him an incentive. This is just between you and me, but he has a fragile ego. Likes lots of reassurance. Likes to roll with the new guys if you get my meaning. I don't challenge that. Wouldn't do any good. Just creates bad feeling. Model behaviour, don't preach it. After you win respect, it only takes a word, and you get heard. If hearing is possible. So I don't mind young D making me work. Maybe something will grow, other than ego.

How about you? Anything on your mind? I'm here for you, dude. Haven't you noticed? I'm amazing. And a phenomenon.



J