Wednesday, July 11, 2007

An Ethno-Genetical Explanation

Here's an explanation of sorts. Of a certain religio-ethnic group -- which it would be insensitive and racist to name -- "a minority of no more than 11 percent is responsible for more than 70 percent of the birth defects in Yorkshire. " It would be racist because these certain persons who all adhere to this heretofore unnamed and in this paragraph unnameable confession have a skin tone of a somewhat more fuscous hue than that historically to be expected of the Isle of Albion. To equate such heritable physical traits with a religion which claims itself to be a Universal Faith -- and which forbids on pain of death any possibility of conversion to another religion -- is rank insensitivity, regardless of the truth of the matter. No, none of this can possibly be relevant to the question at hand, which I, as the author of this paragraph, am uniquely positioned to claim deals with birth defects. My, that was awkward.

This certain group to which I alluded in the previous paragraph enjoys the benefits of a rural and traditional culture, transplanted from the bucolic hinterlands of sultry Pakistan (which Proper Noun shall not be construed to be an indication of race or ethnicity), which highly prises the tried and true practice of endogamy. "In some families in my street," asserts one Nadeem Aslam, "the grandparents, parents, and the children are all first cousins -- it's been going on for generations and so the effects of the inbreeding are quite pronounced by now." This excellent outcome has many manifest benefits, too numerous to rehearse here, but none of them racist.

It would be the most grotesque distortion of fact to attribute the observation of the practice of endogamy (slandered by bigots as a sort of incest) to "Islamophobia" -- a calumnious neologism which refers to the putative fear and indeed hatred that Moslems supposedly have of all non-Moslems. This is a canard, propagated by agenda-driven ideologues to defame the Universal Faith. Probably, it's the Jews behind such lies. The fact that the standard word which refers to non-Moslems is kuffar, meaning "infidel filth," is merely an example of the poetic and transcendently metaphorical eloquence of the Koran. Only a bigot could think otherwise.

Given then the countless benefits of incest, so that all your grandparents are also your first cousins -- as are your parents, to each other, and to their own parents, and to you and your siblings, who are also your cousins as well -- it is no wonder that heroism and sublime self-sacrifice have come to characterize the practitioners of the Universal Religion of Peace. I refer of course to the recent attempted car bombings outside a Piccadilly club on ladies night. One car bomb goes off; then, later, after the crowd has gathered to inspect the outworking of the condign will of Allah, the Merciful, the Compassionate, another car filled with nails and gasoline goes off. Divine. Sublime. Neat. Sweet. Petite. The Addams Family.

No wonder suicide bombing seems like a good idea to them.


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