Friday, February 29, 2008


This is the day that Jason came to live with me. I say he came, but I went and got him. Out at one of the juvenile halls. This is also the day I lost Joey.

February is such an unfinished month. Where I am, the trees are just thinking about opening up their leaf buds. I planted elms, 28 years ago. One of them, in the open ground, is in full burgeon. Another grows out of a small square of dirt in the cement. The only leaves it has are left over from last fall. Today I was wondering why that would be. I figured it just wasn’t getting enough water. All its roots have to travel so far, under the driveway and sidewalk and street. All that cement must make a difference.

I know a cat that lives on the roof. They go crazy, it seems. But no, not crazy. Just true to their genes. Some are born mild, some wild. It doesn’t have anything to do with where they’re born. A friendly cat gets eaten by coyotes. A cat with wild genes will be friendly to a few people, but only because they’ve been tamed. That made me think again today that cats only like you because you give them pleasure. We’d like to think all that rubbing up against us is love. It’s not. It’s just them spreading their scent. They have glands by their mouths. It must feel good to rub scent glands on pant legs.

And the house if full of dogs. So and so is out of the country again. Only three of his dogs are left. They wait by the door all day hoping someone will come home. Then they trail after like sled dogs. One just stands and waits patiently to be petted. One runs in small circles, over and over, smiling and glad that it’s not being beaten. It came from an abused puppyhood. The other one is just along to be a part of the crowd. As with almost everyone, it’s mostly about food.

Well, I suppose that's the point of it all. Just looking for something to keep us going. Last a little longer. We're all February, every once in a while prolonging our days. It's only proper. The alternative is regret. Regret over unfinished lives.


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