Moslem Jokes

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mohammad.
Mohammad who?
Oh, I'm sorry, I should have said "boom" instead of "knock knock."

Hey, is this an audience or an oil painting?

How many mohammads does it take to blow up a nursery school?
Just one, but he has to shave off his pubes first.

I know you're there, I can hear you breathing.

An imam, a mullah and an ayatollah go into a bar. The imam says to the bartender, "Gimme a scotch on the rocks." So the mullah takes out a sword and cuts off the imam's head. The ayatollah says, "Why did you do that?" So the mullah cuts off his head. Then he cuts off the bartender's head. Then he blows up the bar. Then he straps explosive to two mentally challenged women and detonates them by remote control as they walk through a crowded marketplace.

Heh heh, yeah, so I don't go to where you work and scrub toilets! And people don't give me any respect!



I know, these jokes are not at all funny. I have to make them up myself, and it's just not my gift. The essence of humor is surprise, and my efforts here are so very predictable. I tried to find some real moslem jokes, you know, online, but there aren't any. The most I could find were some obscure Scandinavian cartoons, many of which I failed to understand.

What. I don't get it. He has a gigantic headache? He's bombed out of his head? This racist who drew the cartoon, this hate-monger the so-called Kurt Westergaard, obviously a Nazi ... oh, well, I seem to have forgotten my point. But the racist Danes seem to have objected to our righteous holey jistring -- manifesting itself most recently in our holey righteous attempt to behead the so-called Kurt Westergaard last week, or otherwise send him to hell -- by reprinting the offending cartoons. How many embassies do we have to burn down before they get our holey massage? It makes me so mad sometimes I could blow up a Jewish daycare center. But I don't have to be mad to do that. Well, a mad bomber, maybe, but that's everyone.

Hm. I seem to have undergone an attitude shift. The Stockholm Syndrome, perhaps? It's only fitting. I am a master of themes both religious and psychological. If only I could draw. Cuz I've got some terrific ideas for some cartoons.


J