Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Spitzer Take

Good lord. What a toad. No wonder he needs prostitutes. (Isn't it funny that "tit" is in the word "prostitute"? That's so cool!) You'd think he'd at least put in his teeth for the picture. And that prostitute he's with. Don't want to be unkind, but speaking of teeth, isn't she a little long in one of them? We can't turn back the clock, but aren't guys supposed to like the young chicks? Spitzer paid this old lady nearly five thousand dollars? For one visit? How many vaginas does she have, to make it worth all that cash?

But seriously folks.

We hardly need to have an opinion about it. He'll resign, this Dem governor of NY. He'll use his resignation as a bargaining chip. His wife will stay with him the way not-gay former Sen. Larry Craig's beardly wife stayed with him, if she did. Politicians' wives must have learned to play the game -- the self-interest game -- early on. Like politics itself, being a political wife is all about compromise.

We don't need to have emotions. If we want principles, we should go to church. Maybe we'll find it. We won't find it among the self-promoters and hucksters who set up their tents along any of the beltways. Cynical? I don't think so. There is a place for hope. What makes us cynical, what makes us lose hope, is when we want bureaucrats to be messiahs. How terrible, the crash. Let's call it rather a process of education. We put our false hopes in false messiahs, Adlai Stevenson, Barry Goldwater, Bobby Kennedy, Jimmy Carter, bill clinton -- who will remake America or reshape the human heart -- who will bring light to a dark future -- integrity, vision, whatever watchword stirs our young souls. Then they lose or get killed or prove to be incompetents or corrupt.

You understand that even Heaven has a government. I don't suppose that, for all that the New Jerusalem is a sort of sanctuary city, it has free heroin needle programs and midnight basketball programs and Gay Pride parades. Government isn't, or shouldn't be, about facilitating or reshaping human nature. The streets of the City of God may be paved with gold, but the potholes still need to be filled. Somebody has to prune all those trees of life lining the boulevards. That's what government is for. A certain amount of self-governance is assumed. Any transformations from the old man to the new must be handled on a level more subtle than anything we'd get from standing in long lines.

So we need not be dismayed or even disgusted by the corruption revealed in Gov. Spitzer's character. That's what laws are for -- to deal with corruption, in places both high and low. It is assumed that Gov. Spitzer will be prosecuted as a misdemeanant for his consorting with whores. It is assumed that he will leave public life for a time. It's even possible that such a chastening will be of benefit to his character. That's not our beeswax. We are not his priest, minister, rabbi, imam, shaman or other such spiritual adviser.

We hope in the vague way that we do hope that this stranger will find some sort of peace or similar platitude. But the only issue we have any reason to care about is his competence as a public official. Part of his duty is to obey the laws that are enforced against us. When we find misconduct from high officials, of course the punishment should be somewhat harsher. Greater power, greater responsibility, greater privilege. That privilege extends to manifest material benefits, not to impunity.

Thus, when we find corruption, we are not pleased, but we do say good riddance. Any emotion in the matter is just an indulgence. And we've seen enough of that for the week, eh?


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