Friday, April 10, 2009

The P-Factor™

The P-Factor™ is the willingness, the eagerness with which we give ourselves Permission to fail. It's the excuses, the compromises, the deals we make in our secret hearts, the calculations and the little stories we tell ourselves that allow us to save our energy for some hypothetical future all-out effort instead of using it now when it matters. So that the all-out effort never really comes. How cunning. Such a relief. Because that would be hard. And exercise is all about looking good.

So there they are, the dudes, chatting in the gym, pairs and trios mostly, getting ready to get to it! Any time now. Oh, there one goes! Ah, curls. Excellent. Pump those bi's, gee. Cranking away, eeek eeek eeek like a rusty hinge. "Ungh, ungh, ungh," he says, a painful expression distorting his glossy countenance. And now after a suitable rest it's something with a bar and some weight held over his head at a strange angle, arms akimbo. "Ooomp." It impresses us as being very scientific.

Indeed, the gymrat bodybuilders, per their muscleman mags, know all about intensity -- the way they know about silkworm farming: as a theory. No need at all for any P-Factor™ here. There's no intention of achieving even the slightest amount of grueling effort, which is what P-Factor™ gets us out of. They do get a thimbleful of benefit from the facemaking they practice, which over a long enough time will amount to a bucketful of effort. Good for them. But they're not serious. Because emotion isn't what makes us serious. Effectiveness is. It's what you do.

The most effective thing is intensity. Saving nothing. Doing it now. The enemy of intensity is the P-Factor™. It has to do with mental toughness. You don't get it by wanting it. You get it by building it, through consistent training and by continuing self-examination to find the pansy in your mental closet so you can pimp slap him until he stops making excuses. Easy to say, hard to do. Because a lot of the time the pansy isn't in the closet. He's gazing into your eyes with his hand down your pants trying to make you feel good. A lot of the time it's more him than you, in charge of your body. How very queer. Were you born that way? But no excuses. Dogs need to be trained. You do it by consistency and clear expectations.

We call it the P-Factor™. P as in permission. There's another word, rather vulgar, rudely descriptive of unmanly behavior, that the P actually stands for. But that would be telling.

Yes, we have trademarked P-Factor™, the way you can patent a gene. Jealous? Of course you are. As for how to overcome it totally, why there's just one thing you need! Our new, exclusively revised and updated INFINITE DINOSAURS PROGRAM, available now for a LIMITED TIME ONLY from our luxurious corporate office complex located in EXOTIC Las Vegas, Nevada, at the low low price of only $395.99! That's right! INFINITE DINOSAURS™!!! -- over 127 elegant spiral bound pages with several professionally-drawn TWO-COLOR illustrations of almost virtually everything you need to achieve the new new you you knew you knew you always wanted to be! INFINITE DINOSAURS!!!! Sent direct to YOU by first class mail via the United States Postal Service! No APOs. Hurry! Get the P-Factor™ OUT of your pants!!!!! You might expect to pay thousands of dollars for the VALUABLE secrets contained in just one paragraph of this priceless INFINITE DINOSAURS PROGRAM!! So act now before this limited one-time offer expires forever! Rush cash or money order for the amazing INFINITE DINOSAURS PROGRAMto: Jack Horr, TRLR 11, Mobile Haven, Rural Route 29, Henderson, NV, 89009. Don't wait!!! Act now!!! You CANNOT afford not to!!! The P-Factor™ is everywhere!!! INFINITE DINOSAURS™!!!!!!! ***>>>>>SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!!!!<<<<<**** Do it NOW!!!!


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