Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The One Wise Man

Yessiree, turns out this was the best Christmas ever! Got four, count em, FOUR gift cards!!! Bought myself a second pair of shoes. Now I have two, that's right, two shoes. Gray of course, because gray goes with everything. This second pair I picked out with an eye to greater comfort. So that's fantastic.

And a gift card to a sports store, so I bought a knee brace for when I start rolling again. Maybe another month. It's very doubtful that I'd have bought it otherwise. Just seems like an extravagance. But I'm so dang popular now that I thought I'd splurge.

And a movie card, that I gave to someone who goes to movies. Regifting? I'm not sure. I don't think of it as a gift. I'm not sure that I give gifts anymore. Kids, I suppose, should get gifts. And normal people like to give them. Me? Why, I will accept them, as my right.

And a Barnes and Noble card. Ten bucks. Not sure what I'll do with it. Can't buy much for ten bucks anymore in a bookstore. And I don't drink lattes. We shall see.

When I was getting the knee brace, in one of the aisles, I was overcome almost with a profound sense of guilt. Something about my son, 15 years ago, when I bought him a gift and he was dissatisfied with it, and I had some emotions about that. Nothing abusive, under the law, but here it is a lifetime later, and I had tears in my eyes, in public if alone. And it's too too late now, but I had such an urge to grab hold of my son and hug him and tell him how much I love him.

So guilt has its uses. As do gifts. A week or so ago, around Christmas but only by coincidence, I was reading a book of movie reviews. I don't go to movies, but I like to read about them. And one movie, an animation, got such a stellar notice that I figured I really had to get it. These things take a while to percolate through my multiple layers of psychic strata, but it got through, and I figured out who I could give it to. See? It's not about dates. It's about need, or about sharing something where you think it will give meaningful pleasure. We shall see.

So there it is, everything I think about gifts and giving. Wasn't it good?


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