Modified from the internet:
Dear Headquarters: I, the penis, hereby request an increase in benefits for the following reasons: I dive head-first into physical labor, in dark, claustrophobic conditions, laboring in hot and humid conditions and I do not get weekends off; furthermore, my work may expose me to contagious diseases. Sincerely, Penis
Dear Penis: You do not work 8 hours straight, fall asleep after brief work periods, follow directions and expectations inconsistently, do not take the initiative, require excitement, pressure or other exceptional stimulation to start working, leave a messy workplace, object to the use of protective work gear, and can't be counted on to work double shifts; furthermore, you have been seen entering and leaving the workplace dragging a suspicious-looking bag. For these and other reasons having to do with hygiene, your request is denied. Sincerely, Headquarters
I feel physically bad most of the time. It occurs to me once in a while that this cannot be a normal condition. I ascribe it to the amount of intense exercise I do, bjj etc, and to age. But even so it seems too much. I wake up feeling unrested and heavy and stiff, no matter how much I sleep. Joyless. Has it always been this way? I don't recall. Could it be something else? Do I have a virus? -- did I pick up a parasite in Australia, 25 years ago? Cuz there's been something wrong my whole adult life, more and more nowadays manifesting physically.
I never thought my actual health was a problem, because I've taken care of myself, and trusted my lifestyle. But not every problem is the result of a personal failing. Sometimes you just get struck by a bolt from the blue, drink water that has an anomalous amoeba, play ball in a field where dioxins have been dumped.
I should go to the doctor, get tested for a broad range of, uh, things. I do have a bit of a doctor phobia -- just another one of my endearing peccadilloes -- and I don't have a doctor or insurance, and I have a problem with the thought of my name and records in somebody's files. I've been managing to save some money, even with the stipend I send my mother's way, but I have no idea how much a doctor visit costs -- that's not the real issue, but it's an excuse. I don't know how these things are done. Just do it, of course. Man, I'm so unsuited for the world. Learned helplessness. Man up, indeed.
This is what I mean when I reference a passive self-destructiveness. I am diligent in all things that require only my own effort. Not so good when it comes to involving others. Pride and distrust, no doubt. What a way to live.
The only sports reading I like to do is on boxing. I do not understand at all the appeal of or respect for Mohammad Ali. I've read nothing that would make me respect him. A disrespectful racist, low character propped up by a great skill of which he was unworthy. What, he liked children? -- he had nice intentions? Who doesn't. After he beat Liston, his resolve to visit all the Heads of State in the world was a reflection of his narcissism not his altruism. How Obama-like. No skill-set but self-regard, and imagining himself nevertheless able to do good. It's easy to seem saintly when you're famous, adored and old. When he was fighting, he was a pig. It would take a lot to explain away his calling Frazier -- a man who was personally generous to Ali -- a gorilla. On what level is that acceptable? A pig.
Oblamer drove by a couple of hours ago. On his way to do Leno. Big motorcade, caused a 45 minute delay for people who only had to go a block. Remember this, come election day. Or you can blame Bush. I'd make the joke, where's an GPR when you need one, but even now I've flagged myself with the IBF. Kidding, guys, just kidding. Hyperbole is my metier. I have no respect whatsoever for the current Occupier of the WH, but he'd be even more of a nightmare as a martyr. The Oswalding of KFJ unalterably changed the ASU for the worse -- made the hippies and the Vietnam betrayals thinkable, possible and inevitable. So, please, always, honor the process -- the Constitution RULES!
That's a nice note to end on. Up with people!