The great political question of the day found its most eloquent formulation as a rhetorical metaphor first made public in these very pages. “Which would you rather, eat your own poop or someone else’s puke?”
Given our increasingly and mandatorily inclusive culture, there could never be anything other than gay, exuberant celebration of those courageous extroverts who opt for or are born into that subgroup of peoplekind in which it is a genetic necessity to eat one’s own poop or the puke of another. Heaven forfend that we should be judgmental about lifestyles or states of birth. That’s a crime against peoplekind.
Alack, were the metaphor only slightly different, the solution should be obvious. It really is no unendurable thing, to swallow back a bit of your own up rising gorge. I myself am not immune or inured to the occasional bout of dry-heaves, as when I have had to clean up after animals, or accidentally visualize sundry very normal and not at all perverted paraphiliae.
Whereas coprophagy, be it auto- or alio-, might or ought to be found in all but the newest, politically-corrected DSM editions. The professional psychology manual for mental illness if there is any such thing, now, mental illenss. Maybe it's all just the way you're born, and you being you. You know, freedom
Thus have I written, however, and thus it shall be. One’s own poop, another’s vomit.
It's like politicians. Trump then, for us, in this metaphor, is the poop. biden is the vomit. Sadly, I will never knowingly eat poop. And I shall never vote for biden. Well, I made my choice in a previous election, and the poop was okay.
So now I will throw out all this forgoing unassailable logic, and rearrange the premises of the implicit syllogism. “Would you rather eat your own vomit or someone else’s poop.” Ah. Now the paradox is resolved. Distasteful and disgusting though it be, puke-eating as it were has its necessities.
The origin of the trope, Suck it up, buttercup, is buried in obscurity. No one knows. Only theories remain to cast light in the darkness. “Suck it up, buttercup.”
It's used to encourage someone to persevere through hardship. The best theory -- and there is no real need of a theory -- is that it originated among fighter pilots, who might at high altitude disgorge into and foul their breathing apparatus, thereby losing consciousness. It's Life or death. The Best advice would be to suck it up. The gratuitous “buttercup” explains itself.
For reasons later to be examined, a fourth Obama term is undesirable. Biden, the b word, is a known quantity. Or rather, a null set. He's not even a vacuum, a great sucking void. He's antimatter. Destoying everything he touches. He's not the Beast of the Apocalypse. He's it's lapdog.
It's always the lesser of evils, with politicians. Almost always. But it's very clear. Comparatively, it's not good verses evil. It's radiant visions of beatific perfection -- that is, anyone who is not biden or his ilk. Verses a depravity so anti human that even satan would be impressed. You know, biden and his ilk.
The election is months not years away. Things are going to get so chaotic and perverted that even you, stupid stupid americans, who RE elected obama, and then again, with biden. Stupid. But even you may grow tired of walking through feces and being robbed and imprisoned -- tired enough, to vote in a NOT stupid, stupid way.
You did this. You did it. Buttercup.
America: God shed his grace on thee, then removed it.
So. Dig in. The vomit’s fine. Delicious. Delectable, by comparison.
J
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