Monday, January 30, 2006

Barking Moonbats

nster. If you Google “failure,” the White House bio of George Bush is the first entry. If you Google “freedom,” in China, you get nothing. Then you get arrested. And rightly so, because China is the coming thing. Red China is the new black - and sugar, let me tell you, my jungle fever just got jaundice. But thank Gaia that Google is refusing to allow Uncle Satan to know what I’m searching for. I mean, even a moron should understand that all my searchings for “hot young boiz” and “pre-pube studz” are protected by the, um, First Amendment or something. Maybe it’s the Fourth. Anyway, one of the good ones.

And who has the right to tell me what I can do? It’s a free country, and that means I can do anything I want. Oops, I mean it was a free country until that Bush stole the election. So if I want to abort fetuses, or have sex with them, nobody has the right to tell me I can’t. Only an idiot would think otherwise. I mean after all it’s my body isn’t it? Abortion is a choice and being gay is not. And what about slavery? Oh, the whales, the whales. Christians are bad. Hemp. Stonewall.

On the other hand, these irrational redneck racist bigot conservatives who are all so evil and stupid.

And so, Dear Reader, Your Humble Author trusts that the force of his logic has swept away the reactionary cobwebs that have obstructed the way to Progress and Intelligence.

Your Humble Author can be contacted at this address, and he is available for Happenings, Sabbats, and poetry events both extempore and programmed. For a small contribution of $20 Canadian, CDs of Your Humble Author’s award-winning poetry may be had – including Burn, Redneck, Burn, the classic Too Few on that Cross, and I’m So Much Smarter Than Y’all. Also, don’t forget the upcoming Sixth Annual Moloch Orgy and Fetus Barbeque (last year we actually had a manifestation!). Baby-sitting will be provided, and is mandatory.

Your Humble Author,

Helmut Crisp

PS – Iran Contra


Miroslav said...

That Helmut Crisp,
Gotta love him.
This entry got a grin out of me.
Nice work.

Jack H said...

Yeah, Helmut, "nice work." You make atheists smile, which must be your purpose in life, satanic tool that you are.

I just don't get it. First this freaky throwback Helmut invades my beautiful blog, and now some phantom X is dropping in, insulting me all over the place. This is some sort of identity theft. I'm calling blogspot. I'm tired of being a victim.

Miroslav said...