Forgiveness

There is no duty more sacred than being a father. This is why God uses that image so often of himself. So much depends on us. The kind of men our sons become depends on us. There is nothing more sacred.

We stand so tall in their eyes. We are so strong, to hurl them in the air and catch them so lightly. How we all laugh with delight, they secure in our arms, we, filled with love and pride. This is my son, we think, my precious little boy, and we are grateful. It’s never so much about what they will do when they are grown, as who they will be – will they be honorable? -- compassionate? But most, it’s about that moment, of laughter and delight. And life is good.

But we are only men. And just as they grow into teenagers and disappoint our expectations – failing as they must as they discover their character – so do we also fail. If we were impatient, if we were unfair – how can it be otherwise. Being only men, we are more than just fathers. We are men. We fail in our own lives, in our own hearts and actions. We are subject to the same temptations as our sons are. We fall into sin as easily.

There is no deceit in our discretion. There is no hypocrisy in our secrecy. We would not be seen as weak, because we value our position as fathers. No, it is not honest. But no one could stand up under the burden of another man’s sin. We are comfortable only with our own. Our silence, as fathers, is a mercy.

And when we are seen for what we are – small, and weak, and deeply flawed – we must depend on the character we have helped instill within our sons. We need their patience, we need their mercy, as they have needed ours. And we always hope that they are better men than we are.

J