Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Drama of the End of the World

This opus never got the attention it merited, so I'm mounting a revival and booking the Hollywood Bowl for a star-studded one-night gala performance, starring Sean Penn as Iran and Osama bin Laden and Tony Randall's nephew Toby as France et al. I haven't cast The United Nations yet. I'm hoping for Antonia Banderas -- we're in negotiations ... he wants points for the film rights. I know that Penn and Banderas are primarily cinema artists, but I'm after the big bucks, rather than any mindless loyalty to the traditions of theatre.

My more perceptive adherents will discern the relevance to the current world situation, what with this Gaza thing and all those middle eastern types. I don't like to encumber myself too much with the details. I feel it inhibits my Muse.


The Drama of the End of the World:
a play in two acts

Act One

Iran and Osama bin Laden: We will destroy the pig Jews and the Great Satan, which is the United States! We will do this with our Nuclear Bombs, which we are developing! Beware!

The United Nations: Oh, please do not say such things! We will all discuss this matter with our Diplomats, and everyone will be happy!

France, Germany and Russia: Yes, we will talk this matter over, while we sell our arms and Nuclear Materials and get oil too. Hahaha! And we will be rich, rich, rich! Hahaha!

Act Two

Iran and Osama bin Laden: Now we will die happy, and go to our Virgins! For we have destroyed the pigs Jews and also the Great Satan, the United States with our Explosions! Ha!

The United Nations: Oh, if only we had listened to the Warnings that were given to us, and had done something! But we were too foolish! Woe is us!

France, Germany and Russia: Oh, alas, alas! We were such fools! If only we had been honest! But now it is too late! For we are all dying now. Curses!

Iran and Osama bin Laden: Hahaha! We are coming now, Allah and Mohammad! We are coming! Hurrah!

The End


I really like the purity and straightforwardness of the dialogue. It's so stark and yet so honest. I've really captured the essence of the situation. It's really quite brilliant. It hearkens back to the very origin of Western Theatre, not so much the Greek as the Medieval Church pageants. It's a sort of Everyman morality tale writ large, transcending however the dull constraints of dogma and doctrine that so constrict creativity and the full o'erblooming of true genius.

You do have permission to forward it to all your internet friends, but I'm asking that you send me five dollars via PayPal for each time you do so. It's only fair. You know I'm right. It makes sense. I'm financing the Bowl production myself, and renting the place costs over three quarters of a million dollars, what with traffic control and all. I have to charter the buses. And so far I've only raised six dollars and eighty three cents, and a button, and two paperclips. And there's something that looks like a raisin. I may have it analyzed. It could be a magic bean.



Jack H said...

Oh Jack H you are so smrat to have ritten this smart play!!! It is so good too!!! because it is so true



World Peace Religion said...


bob k. mando said...

amusing. you seem to have almost stumbled upon something that i've been considering for years. namely, that the Protestant churches may be suffering from a most grievous misreading of Revelation due primarily to their historical understanding of, and antipathy to, Rome.

try reading Rev. 18:9-24. it is not possible that in today's world this could mean Rome. and then reconsider the totality of chapters 17 and 18.

and think of that the next time you hear a Protestant pastor preach that the United States will have a terrible price to pay for permitting millions of it's children to be aborted every year...;&version=50;