Saturday, October 7, 2006

How Do You Choke a Man Who Has No Neck?

Nope, just don't feel like saying anything today. I do have something percolating, but couldn't be bothered. So I won't talk about anything. Or rather, I'll talk about nothing. What did I do today? Not nothing, mind you. I got up, early for me, and went to my sport. On a Saturday, mind you. Haven't done that before, first because I'd have to get up early for me, and also because I do it five days a week, and six just seems like too much. But seven wouldn't be enough. Sometimes I plot about how I could do it twice a day, but I'd have to get up early for me, and rearrange my schedule, and that's too much bother.

I've said what it is before, you know. You obviously haven't been paying attention. I'm not writing all this for my health. It's for you. A little gratitude wouldn't be misplaced. Sheesh. BJJ. Don't know what that is? Man are you out of it. I feel sorry for you. You're just not a happening dude, is all. BJJ.

So today I rolled with a big dude, 70, 75 pounds heavier than me. I gave him a hard time. Then he gave me a hard time. But nothing definite. My head is two inches longer, though. Gotta get it re-blocked. I was sitting here pondering how to handle him, and I figured out that I have to rely less on strength and more on speed. I'm 47. I don't have a lot of speed left. A little, for a while. Not a lot. But I think that's it. I have to play a different game with him. With him I'm thinking I need distance. Oh. It's so tiring. Why can't it just be easy.

Did I tell you why I started to roll? My son got into it, and recommended it to me. In itself that would be insufficient, given the investment of time and, even more, pain. But then I realized that he would be growing farther and farther away from me. He's getting a whole set of life experiences that I have no idea about. I figured this would give us a commonality, beyond the father/son thing. Rolling, for me, in a very real way, is a means of keeping a link with my boy.

Of course that doesn't account for why I do it five times a week, and this week six. I realized after a couple of months that my poor gray brain wasn't going to just suck it up. Thirty years of no complex motor learning didn't hone my cerebelum into the Computer of Death I might have hoped. It just takes a lot of mat time, for the axons to fatten and the dentrites to grow. I've said it before. Little girls talk. Little boys find some grass and wrestle. It's the most direct form of competiton there is. Everything else, from business, to letters-to-the-editor writing, to boxing, is less direct. If you haven't done it, you may not get that. Ask yourself how monkeys fight and you'll have an insight. We don't bite, mind you... But it's necessary for masculine mental health.

So that's what I was sitting here thinking about. How to choke a man with no neck. He's like a muscular Humpty Dumpty. Is that a belt, or a collar.

There. I've managed to talk for a while, without saying anything. Now I know how normal people feel.



Nobs said...

six times this week? i can't decide if that puts me to shame or inspires me... kinda both maybe.

Jack H said...

Dude, I get there at five, I leave at nine. Am I even human?