Thursday, November 30, 2006


Six imams -- Moslem scholars ... scholars of Islam, rather -- were removed from a US Airlines flight last week. Suspicious behavior. Chanting Allahu Akhbar in the terminal. Cursing America on the plane. Requesting seatbelt extensions when none of them was unusually large. Moving from their assigned seats to positions by the exits at the front, middle and back of the plane. Behavior for which airline employees are trained to watch.

Well I just don’t get it. So some imams move about the plane. Big deal. Was the seatbelt light on? No? -- then just shut up then, bigot. What’s the problem? So what if they were swinging wet towels in the air like flashing scimitars, and so what if they said their carry-ons were full of human heads? Cultural diversity, dude. Don't be so narrow-minded. And so what if they were chanting "death to the Great Satan by which we mean America which we hate and want to destroy"? That's just a typical Moslem prayer, right up there in the Islamical catechism with "may all the Jews be burned to powder and their ashes mixed with pig urine and drunk by dogs."

Hey, dude, listen -- in this country we have this thing called "Freedom from Religion." It's in one of those amendments. (Hey, did you ever notice that amendment starts with AMEN? That unconstitutional. Separation of Church and State, dood.) So like freedom from Christian Religion is in one of the early, good amendments, that matter. Not that one about guns, though -- guns are bad. People don't kill guns, guns kill people. Guns and America. Why can't we be more like Canada? Anyways, what I was saying is that, um ... well, I seem to have lost my train of thought. Something about how America and Israel steal oil and are so full of hate.

I hope that clears it up for all you rightwing haters. OH, and did you hear in the news about how women are throwing shoes at little mosqlem children? It was on Air America, so you know its true. (Man that al-Franken rocks! And Juneen garAwfullo is sooooo hot.) I wish I was Arab. I'm white. That's bad. And I wish I was a woman.



Six imams booted off the plane, for, you know, suspicious behavior. Good. Or is that racist of me? The imams did it on purpose, of course. It's called desensitization. Keep 'em searching the support-hose of blue-haired grannies, but get 'em used to seeing the dusky Bedouins in flowing robes, chanting and skulking and acting all agro and outraged. Because nobody can claim you're profiling the old ladies. So you’re PC-safe. Until the Allah-shouters get up one final time and head to the cockpit rather than the back.

They did it on purpose. It was a test run, to see what they could get away with while being obvious. Has America been sufficiently cowed? Can we by the grace of Allah resume our holy jihad without the inconvenience of pretending to be sane Moslems instead of scum? That sort of thing. The conference they had just attended was, in part, a seminar in not just grievance mongering, but grievance manufacturing. Where's YouTube when you need it most. Taking care of Michael Richards, I guess. He's a Jew, you know ... or maybe not ... but we think he's a Jew. He played one on television.

The imams of peace really are past the "test run" stage, of course. Test runs are for testing to see if something is possible. Some of us might recall the bright surprise of a blue-skied Tuesday morning, a handful of years back, when the time for test runs came crashing closed. Now it's stage two: cruise control. Get 'em used to it. Get 'em so they can't believe their eyes. That's why the criminal always has the advantage. He knows ahead of time what he's going to do. He has a plan. As for the rest of us poor schlubs, why, how could this be happening? It's so ... so, so surreal. Like a dream. Like strip-searched grannies and tumbling towers.

US Airlines. Hmm, I wonder why the imams chose that airline? Was American Airlines all booked up for the holiday? USA did exactly the right thing. True, the Peace Religion did get propaganda points, what with all Americans being so racist and anti-Moslem and suchlike, but the message was also sent that they are being watched. Hurrah. I'll take that deal.

I kind of wish I'd been on the plane. I'd have sat next to one of them and engaged him in a conversation. I would have been faultlessly polite. He would have ended up trying to assaulting me.

Well, as you can imagine, the imams and their CAIR enablers were incensed at the outrage of the perfidy of the horror of the indignity. How dare they be suspected! They'll get even, mind you. They threatened a boycott of US Air. A Mozy boycott ... US Airlines could advertise as terrorist free: "More US Air passengers don't get their throats cut than on any other airline!" What else might we wish Moslems would boycott? Obvious things like boxcutters and Amazon vendors of Mien Kampf. They might boycott war. What if they gave a war and no Moslems came? There wouldn’t be any wars. (Thank you very much.)

The boycott threat -- like the wandering about on planes -- was, alas, a ruse. What the imams actually did was go to Reagan International and reenact their loud-praying antics, and then insist that they be boarded on yet another US Air flight. Aided (and abetted) by some lefty rabbis and other nitwits. I suppose there were Jews who volunteered to hookup the gas to the ovens. These people are shamelss. I know, it's a kind of obvious thing to say. But they are just shameless.

If we really wanted to be sure whether or not the imams and other lovers of peace were up to no good, we'd have to check if they’d shaved off their pubes. (Maybe that was what Tennie Pierce (the 2.7 million dollar dogfood fireman) was up to.) I for one would rather be blown up. But it is a fact that razor burns on nether parts are highly correlated with exploding Mohammads.

Sadly, we know the end of the script. Guess which company's plane will be the next to plow into a major US landmark slash tourist attraction? Hopefully, by then -- with the help of imams and other public-spirited citizens and guests -- we'll have become desensitized to such things.


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