Equinox

The length of days is ambiguous. This twilight, is it dusk or dawn? Dark afternoons and skies like glacial ice. Is it autumn or spring? The world holds its breath.

*****

The North American electorate sent a resounding rebuke to President Bush and the Republicans today, who in a humiliating defeat lost control of both the House and the Senate. Opinion polls and historic trends indicated that the Republicans would lose seats, but today’s results can only be interpreted as a demand from the North American people for a change of direction.

Rocked in recent months by numerous corruption and sexual scandals, the self-styled “family values” party demonstrated how out of touch it was with the general population. Experts agree that blame for this must be found in the Bush Administration’s failed economic and social policies at home, and its wrong-headed blunderings in Iraq and the so-called "War on Terror."

“We handed them their heads,” said Speaker-Elect Nancy Pelosi in her victory announcement. “Now we’re going to start doing things the San Francisco way. For far too long the pigs have been at the trough. Now it's candy time for the little children -- and for our differently-oriented brethren and sistren -- our personren. And that’s one of the top items on my list of reforms. From now on all gender-specific verbiage will be taxed. I personally am pushing legislations that will ban it as hate-speech.”

*****

In a startling upset today, the Republicans managed to maintain their already tenuous grasp on both houses of Congress. Analysts place credit for this surprising outcome at the door of Bush’s political handler, Karl Rove. The general malaise and disgust felt by voters toward the incumbent party was off-set by a massively expensive get-out-the-vote drive orchestrated by Rove and funded by Republican special interest groups. Working largely behind the scenes, Rove has manipulated Bush into victory since the ’90s.

World leaders privately expressed shock and dismay at the results of the American election. Said one prominent Western leader, “The American people, they are so stupid. It is only fitting that such a stupid people should have for themselves such a stupid President.” Similar sentiments are echoing throughout the world’s capitals.

Nancy Pelosi, who had been expected to lead the House, said, “It seems that not enough Americans have been killed in Iraq by Bush and his insane and suicidal cowboyism. He’s the real suicide bomber. He’s a bigger terrorist than al-Qaeda ever was. I predict that the streets will run with blood. God, what a stupid country. Why can’t this be Canada?”

*****

The North American people have spoken, and spoken clearly. The Republican domination of the House is at an end. GOP politicos put on a brave face, but the surge against them was too strong. The wily Karl Rove for the past number of months has held the role of King Canut -- but the Democratic tide rolled in despite his hand waving and word magic.

The GOP did manage to squeak out a victory, retaining its feeble hold on the Senate by the smallest of margins. But it is so weakened by the bloodbath in the House that experts expect that the hardline ideologues who have dominated that party will have no credibility, and moderates in both parties will now set the agenda. It is hailed as a return to civility.

An upbeat Speaker-Elect Nancy Pelosi spoke glowingly of the North American voter. "It's about time common sense and rationality returned to power. The rubes and rednecks have been sent packing out of the House and back to the outhouse where they belong. This is just the beginning of a great new progressive era in North American politics. The Dark Age is over. Justice will reign. The verdict is in, and first item on the agenda -- hang the tyrant. I think you know who I mean."

*****

We do love our sports. We would hope that the referees, the presiding officials, the announcers and commentators are impartial and honest, that the rules are honored, but the game itself has an interest all its own. Politics is something like that. We watch the players, and have our teams. There is a significant difference, however. We choose the players, in politics. It is not a spectator sport. We might cheer or shout at the TV when such and such a play is made, in sports. Our enthusiasm cannot in the slightest effect the play. But when we vote, we make ourselves managers and owners -- we are participants. Seems like that makes it more important than some sport. It’s almost as if we decide the weather. We make it dusk or dawn, autumn or spring. The world sits and watches, it holds its breath, while we take the field, breathing hard.

J