Monday, May 28, 2007


So I hear on the news or something that it's Barbecue Day. Something like that. More like Inconvenience Day. It's so inconsiderate of them to be closed. We might as well be living in some mud hut village, with chickens running around. God I hate America. I was gonna git my face pierced today. Marked in on my calender. My palm pilot or blackberry calender -- you know, like us young studs have. "Git face pierced BBQ Day." That's how us youthful kids write nowadays -- we abbreviate a lot with letters when we send our Electronic Mails and our "Texts" to each other with our digital phones. Lol -- that stands for Lots of laughs. TTYS -- talk to yourself. Do you git it? It's not really abbreviating so much as initializing, or monogramizing.

Anyways, so like I was saying, about my facial enhancement. Eyebrow stud, lip ring, nose clip -- these are all really cool and happening, but I'm too cutting-edge for any of that. I'm bringing parachute pants back. It went around, so time to come around. But I'll be getting a lip disc. Two. Two lip discs.
Man. Can't wait! And I'm gonna get breast implants too.

That's what it's about, man. Freedom. Be yourself, dude. Let it all hang out. Don't let nothin hold you back. So I don't care that the tattoo shop is closed. Not really a tattoo shop -- they do all sort of body art -- fistulations, Munchhausian amputations -- far out stuff like that. I've been duct taping my left arm to my torso so people will think it's gone. That's so cool. But the shop is closed today. Cuz it's Mattress Sale Day. Man I hate America.


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