Mais où est la politique d'antan?

Then there's Global Warming. Whether or not it's real, whether or not it's science, it is political. I suppose Copernicus and Galileo were political too. So were Mesmer and Lysenko. One would think that something as measurable as temperature would not be controversial. But a little thought, and a few facts, demonstrate how it would be.

The urban heat-island effect, for example, confounds historical comparisons of temperature trends. Atmospheric carbon dioxide? Yes, it is a "green house gas," but water vapor is a far greater factor. That just seems significant, somehow. And it seems that the rise of CO2 follows, rather than precedes, the rise of temperature. A case of cause following effect. Hm. Or Mount Kilimanjaro -- its snows are melting. They've been melting for over a century, though. Deforestation has changed the moisture patterns. Confound it.

Glaciation patterns are indeed changing. The edges of Antarctica are deglaciating. Alas for the theory, the interior is gaining ice, at a rate higher than the peripheral ice is melting. Hm. (One explanation might be, off the top of my head, that regional ocean waters are warmer, causing higher evaporation and so more inland precipitation. This would be a homeostatic effect -- the evidence for sealevel rising is ambiguous.) Likewise with Atlantic ice: Greenland's glaciers are melting, but its icecap is thickening. And of course everyone knows that the Vikings grew vegetables in Greenland -- before the ice encroached. Global Cooling, don't you know. Glaciers are advancing in New Zealand, Norway and the US. Alaska's Hubbard Glacier in Tongass National Forest is growing so quickly, according to the US Forest Service, that it will soon close off a major fjord.

Details, mere details. They prove nothing. It does seem though that there are local climate factors at work. In deference to this rather unsettling fact, the rubric has had to change from "Global Warming " to "Climate Change". I'm sure you know the correct meaning of the word "truism." The climate always changes.

But so much passion. Maybe that's what's heating up the planet, if it is heating up. Unbalanced and unreasonable passion? As usual, the culprit must be religion. No, not some organized church. Environmentalism. That religion. Everyone needs something to believe in, some transcendent and inspirational Truth. This Great Something must have a prophetic element -- knowledge about the future. It must provide a sense of belonging -- like-minded people banding together. It must give meaning to one's life -- a cause to fight for. It must identify an enemy -- something to oppose. Heaven, church, salvation, Satan. Nirvana, shrine, enlightenment, desire. Catastrophe, Earth Day, saving the planet, SUVs. You know -- religion.

Environmentalism has become the liberal religion. Well, it's certainly not new. It's the root of every pagan cultus. Mother Earth. The Goddess. Don't get me started. The conservative position is not the opposite of "environmentalism". The counterpart would be "conservationism". The distinction should be self-evident. To preserve what is good. To be a responsible steward. Sorta like Adam was meant to be, in the Garden. Not all conservatives are responsible in this regard. Neither are all liberals.

Madonna's carbon footprint is 14,000 times larger than that of Third Worlders, and over 100 times that of her fellow Brits. Well, she's very important -- but that kinda does seem like a pretty big footprint. Is there any other part of her anatomy as disproportionately accommodating? Al Gore burns more jet fuel flitting about his planet showing slideshows than Jetblue does. mikael moore releases more methane than all the longhorns in Texas. Something must be done. They must be silenced. I'll handle Madonna. You get moore.

The point is that we are, none of us, consistent. No one is perfect in their faith. The point is that environmentalism is a religion. The point is that all religions are false, save mine. Surely I've convinced you of this by now. The point is that Global Warming is political -- the Left's propaganda surge mirroring the Red Scare from the Right in the fifties. There were Reds. There are climate changes. Are they enough of a problem to undermine our civilization? The point is that Madonna is a slut.

There, I got it all in. Politics, religion and sex.


J