Thursday, September 27, 2007


Is anybody else amazed by this picture? Just what, exactly, are they photographing? Is there a person under that laundry? Is she smiling for the cameras? How do we know it's not a group photo?

Yes, I'm being culturally insensitive. Too bad, isn't it. I'm such a racist. (Take for example a look at what "Gayboi" has to say, in the comments of Borat and Haman. That proves it. Apparently I hate Jews, too, somehow, for some reason -- Gayboi never bothered to explain how.)

Of course such pictorial evidence is an argument as to why 6th century customs don't quite meld with 21st century technology -- photos, after all, are meant to convey information. Then again -- considering that head-lopping muharibun have somehow gained a mastery of high-explosives -- perhaps arguments of this sort, however intuitively apt, are moot.

Who is this bundle? One Mira Agustina, aged 28 per testimony -- famous for having been the wife, now widow, of Omar Faruq. Mr. Fuqar ... oops ... Faruq ... was formerly one of Osama's chief global lieutenants. Currently he is undergoing eternal torment in Hell, having been shot dead December '06 by the Brits in Basra -- resisting arrest during a pre-dawn raid.

One of our ace FP reporters was on the spot, interviewing Ms. Agustina when she received the news:


FP: Tell us, Ms. Agustina Faqur, how do you feel?

Ms. Fuker: Oh, I am so angry that my husband was killed.

FP: How does that make you feel?

Ms. Fuker: Oh, very angry.

FP: So you're angry.

Ms. Fuker: Yes, very.

FP: Because your husband was killed?

Ms. Fuker: Yes. He was killed, and I'm so angry about that.

FP: How does that make you feel?

Ms. Fuker: Well, I feel like I'd like to kill some Jews, or some school children. But I always feel like that. I have a little boy, and I'm going to send him to explode in a crowd somewhere. I haven't decided yet where. The imams will tell me.

FP: So you feel angry?

Ms. Fuker: Yes, very angry.

FP: And how do you feel about your husband's recent arrival in Hell?

Ms. Fuker: I'm angry about that.

FP: Very angry?

Ms. Fuker: Yes, very.

FP: How does it feel under all those blankets? Does it feel hot?

Ms. Fuker: Very.

FP: How does that make you feel?

Ms. Fuker: Hot. Very hot.

FP: So you feel hot?

Ms. Fuker: Yes. These blankets don't wick, you know. I always feel very hot.

FP: How hot?

Ms. Fuker: Unspeakably hot. Hotter than you can know. Hot as Hell. I'm getting myself ready for after I explode myself.


We have fact-checked this interview, and believe it to be accurate.


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