Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Yes, I know. It's just cruel. Petty like feckless spite. But it's the sort of meaningless cruelty that's funny. And we should look so good, in our 60s -- in two days. Even so, it's food for thought. Chicken feed -- or maybe horse fodder. Hee haw.

Jeffrey Lord puts it in perspective. The kind of hostility this woman generates is greater than anything that our Bush ever had to start with. Imagine how bad it will be during her presidency, when things start going, um, south. Lord imagines a scenario of adamant payback by the Republicans, starting from day two. When she sits down at her Oval Desk and picks up her Oval Pen to commence the once-routine task of replacing all the US Attorneys, as the Constitution clearly allows, she is put on short notice by the Republicans in the Senate "that a single firing of any Bush-appointed U.S. Attorney anywhere in the land will be received with cries of scandal. Investigations will be demanded in the Senate Judiciary Committee." You know -- like what just happened when Bush did the same non-controversial thing, only with a mere six inadequate Attorneys. Payback. The Stupid Party finally gets mean.

When one of the geriatric Distaff Justices of the Supreme Court finally feels free to step down, now that it's politically safe to do so, Hillary finds an instantly hostile GOP. "Unlike the docile and respectful treatment the GOP accorded her husband's two liberal Supreme Court nominees, Judges Ginsburg and Breyer, confirming both with not only respectful treatment but overwhelming support, that respect and support was not reciprocated for Bush nominees Roberts and Alito. Both superbly qualified men were subjected to a bitter and controversial confirmation process. Memories of Bork and Thomas, easily stirred, come to life." So? Payback. Mr NiceGuy is no more, when he meets Ms Iron Panties. It's formerly-ladies-first with former First Ladies. If a serious president had been elected for these serious times, things would be different. But this most reactionary of revolutionaries has been enthroned, and sometimes politics uses knives. Here's the list of acceptable candidates, Madam President. Obey us.

Same thing with the appeals courts. Remember Miguel Estrada -- brilliant, but conservative. He was rejected by the left because his "Latino heritage made him 'dangerous'". Imagine having to think like that. The Racist Left, by which is meant the Left -- well, I need not characterize it. It defines itself. I'd say something about Hitler, but ... Godwin's Law.

As for the war, what new commander would Ms. Clinton install? And what willing suspension of disbelief could credit his desire to conclude any conflict in the best long-term interest of the US? And why didn't Ms. Clinton serve, during the hot war of the '60s, when she was eminently qualified? A feminist like her could make only the objection that she wanted the rout that eventually came. And this is the Commander in Chief? As Lord says, hail to the Chick Lady.

Aside from the countless real clinton scandals that will be dredged up -- thought forgotten, but just fermenting -- endless new ones, real and spurious, will be brought forward. It will set a new record for scuzziness. The name clinton will surpass Nixon as a byword for everything fetid in politics.

My own contribution to the vitriol will be to start an impeachment campaign. I'll set up a website selling Impeach Her bumper stickers, from which will evolve a line of ImPeachMint Pies. The logical next step will be to make her symbol a big pink peach, with lapel pins and ceramic lawn ornaments and mass mailings to the newly-labeled "Pink House", also "Peach Preserve", of crates of peaches. Rubber mats of false peach vomit will be all the rage. Oh, it will be rich.

Will it happen? No, of course not. It isn't in our makeup. We aren't the ones who riot. A conservative riot? Never been such a thing. Maybe it's age, but it's certainly maturity. What will we do? Carry on. Wait it out. These things go in cycles, and the most we can hope for is that the arc is not a descending one, not a downward spiral.

What, did you think I was going to end on some wacky note? I would, but I've depressed myself. The future seems such a grim thing sometimes. If only there were some way to comfort myself. Maybe I'll go eat some pie.


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