Why I Am a Racist

Alright. I admit it. I’ve tried to hide it, but those of you who have read these pages will have seen through my pathetic mewling subterfuges. I am a racist. Such a racist. I know most people think that’s a bad thing, but allow me to make my case. It’s really a good thing, you see, my racism and how racist I am. So let me list some of the many excellent reasons why I’m so right about this racism thing that I’ve been talking about just now.

Racism means many things to many people. It is a very good thing. To some, it seems bad. To others it seems good. It means many things. Many people have different ideas about it. Some think it is good. Others think it is bad. It means many things. People like it, while other people do not. The different ideas that many people have about it mean many things to them. There are many opinions. Many people have opinions about this. It is a very good thing.

I trust my meaning has been clear? So that’s a number of excellent reason why it’s so good for me to be a racist. Oh. Look at it this way. Uh, if Evolution is a fact, then some of us must be more Evolved than others. Right? It seems so obvious to me. It's logic, stupid. Because mutations are an individual thing, get it? And, uh, it’s clear that we don’t all share the same genes, now do we -- or we’d all look the same. Since we don’t look the same, we must be different, and we must have different genes. And this clearly obvious fact must be very significant, or we wouldn't look different now, would we. Looks are so important. How could we tell each other apart if we all looked the same? How would we know I was better than you? Some of those different genes that make me better and you worse will be more primitive. It’s stupid, logic. If you shave an ape, what color is it? That's right -- white. I'm not sure what my point is, but it seems significant. So the race with the newest genes like mine must be the most Evolved. And being Evolved is the best thing. Obviously. Less Evolved people are more like animals. Who can argue with that. It’s so clear. So which is the most Evolved race? Obviously, I am. Anyone could see that. Do I have to spell it out? Okay, I will then.

There are the sun people, and the mud people. We are bright and shining and radiant, while the mud people are stupid and like animals. And they’re all dirty too. I’m right about that, right? Or maybe they’re the sun people, like they like the sun, working out in the sun like cows, and I’m the, uh, ice people, where we have to live by our wits and be so smart because the fruit isn’t just hanging off the trees for the animals to eat. Yeah, I think that’s what I meant. And the muddy sun people are not all bad, but the sunny ice people … uh, maybe I mean the cloudy ice people -- the snowmen, no, uh, the star people, yeah, I like that, the starmen who are Evolving into a higher phase of cosmic consciousness and leaving this material plain behind to unite with the solar energy of interplanetary harmony, like a celestial convergence, which is so cool.

So that just about proves it. Any idiot can see how right I am about this. Which brings me to Ron Paul, whose Newsletter
published the idea that “order was restored to Los Angeles after the 1992 riots when blacks went ‘to pick up their welfare checks.’” Another of his newsletters says, "The criminals who terrorize our cities -- in riots and on every non-riot day -- are not exclusively young black males, but they largely are. As children, they are trained to hate whites, to believe that white oppression is responsible for all black ills, to 'fight the power,' to steal and loot as much money from the white enemy as possible." Another says that carjacking is the “hip-hop thing to do among the urban youth who play unsuspecting whites like pianos.” Ebony and ivory. It goes on to say that “...I've urged everyone in my family to know how to use a gun in self defense. For the animals are coming.” Man, that is so true. Everybody knows it. The blacks are only one of the races of which I am so much better than them because I’m different and an Evolved Star Child, like Jesus or Krishna.

Ron Paul says he has “no idea” who wrote the articles which were published under his name. It’s a mystery, you see -- like how I’m supposed to tolerate living in a world with so many inferior people polluting it. That’s why I support abortion. Kill all the inferior babies. It’s a great plan. They’d just grow up to be criminals and addicts. You know it’s true. They’re all the same. Rapists and sodomites. Hatred is good.

What? You think this is parody? You think I've been insincere? Nobody could fake this. You can't fake logic, dude. So, uh, Ron Paul for President! And, um, Onward and Upward for the Star Children! And in my next Newsletter I'll prove how the Jews are all pawnbrokers and diamond merchants.

Intimidated? I'm not intimidated. You are.


J