Sunday, May 3, 2009


Dear God --

Thanks for your email. It was nice to hear from you again, after all this time -- last time was 1993, as I recall. I've been expecting to hear from you, of course. I should say I used to expect it. Any little word would have done. Any word other than "no," I mean. But I'm starting on a sour note. Sorry.

I've read your blog, all of it, some number of times, as you know. I found the posts generally interesting (although that line about violent men taking heaven by force is confusing). I'm a big fan of your work, for the most part. I saw a sunset the other day that just made me smile. I know it's a cliche, but there's a reason for that. Always puzzles me, that you take so much care with such fleeting moments. I guess that's the answer to the tree falling in the forest riddle. There's always Someone there to hear. Yeah, you do seem to like to please yourself, don't you. And you're good at hearing falling trees alone in the forest.

But it really surprises me, how little you seem to get me. You say in your email that I "expected the praises and treasures of this world" and that my "pride and want of fame and fortune have blinded" me to your will. I'll cop to the pride part. But fame? treasures? praises? That's just totally wrong. Way off base. Or are you being enigmatic? Come on, God. Put a little effort into this, okay? -- I've already lasted a lot longer than a sunset. Do I have to do all the work in this relationship? You think what you did thousands of years ago gives you a pass now? You don't accept that excuse from any of us, now, do you. I know, the rules don't apply to you. You made them. Guess I'm too American.

Or is that my pride again? I admit I can't create a sunset. You said as much when you dressed down my good friend Job. Dude. Harsh. He was such a better man than any of us, and look what you did. Was all that really necessary? Doesn't our suffering buy us anything? Why do you suppose anyone would love you? Because you're so great? That only gets you fear and respect. We love you, when we do, because you suffered for us. A little reciprocation, eh?

You write that I feel "beleaguered by the cares of this world." I hardly know what to say. Nice to see you've been paying attention. You must have really powerful binoculars. Or is it just that you read my blog, the way I read yours? Yours, that so coolly records your clockwork plan for humanity. Mine, wherein every page and sentence and word bleeds like a pierced lung. Yes, God, I am beleaguered. Hope that's not a sin. But even if it is, I'm covered, right?

Ah well. Who can contend with you? Not that I would. I understand about futility. And I know that you became a man and all that, and are still stuck in that body, and know all about temptation and being betrayed and forsaken and being tortured. You got those bases covered. It just seems like there's something so wrong, with this universe that you're the king of. Yeah yeah, the Fall and sin and entropy and death and free will and redemption and all that. But is there any beauty more durable than a sunset, here? Aside from you, Mr. Eternity, is there anything I can count on? You tell us to love, and then take our loved ones away. Sort of a double bind, wouldn't you say? Yeah, I know -- it's somehow good for us. Thanks for that. Enough of these lessons, and we'll be perfect. Like you, up there in Heaven, sitting on your throne, judging. Not that I'm complaining. You made the universe the way you made it. The fish can't complain about living in water.

Anyway, hope all is well way off there in the lofty reaches of the Heavenlies. Things are going according to plan down here, as I'm sure you know. And again, thanks for the note, God, and don't be such a stranger. I'm just a leftclick away. Maybe I'll hear from you in another decade or two. Maybe I'll be a grandfather by then. Wouldn't that be awesome? More loved ones to love, and trust in you to protect. And we know how good you are at that. In the long run, I mean. The big picture -- which makes perfect sense, if you're far enough away to see it. Which you are. Good thing we have you to explain it to us, seeing as how we're so small, like the way you made us. Otherwise we'd hardly believe there was a God at all, what with all the pain et anguish et torment et cetera. But we have you -- father of mercies and god of comfort, as you've told us you are. So it all makes sense, or will someday.



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