Saturday, March 19, 2011

Review of the Weak

Do miracles have to be good?

My phone rang and some smartass said, "Bootie call." Well, I've said it myself, and first. I said, "No, that would be my other phone. And it's a hot salsa lick." The guy has a good sense of humor, at least. Usually we expect these gay-married dudes to be really uptight and intolerant. Of course there's something twisted in the boy. He goes to defcon 1 without warning.

Defcon 5 is the lowest level.

"Let me be very clear. We do not expect harmful levels of radiation to reach the United States."
Yes. I'm very glad I let him be clear. It's so eloquent to use words that way. Very eloquent. Let me be clear about that, and this too. We expect radiation that is not harmful not to reach the US. Uh, and even radiation that is harmful, we expect that also not to reach us. Or, to be more clearer, we do not expect radiation that is either harmful or not harmful to not reach us, in the sense that if it reaches us it will or would not be harmful, to us, as opposed to not reaching us yet being harmful, or reaching us and being harmful, or reaching us and not being, or being, harmful. And also let be be clear, as I speech-give slowly with careful pronunciation, about what harmful is, and is not, to us in the US or as is sometimes said, the United States, that you elected me president of. After all, what is it to be harmful? Harmful means many things to many people. And so, in conclusion, I have spoken to you slowly with good diction. Thank you and good night, to you, and to your children, and your children's children, and their children after them, because we will not be rendered sterilized by radiation, which does not exist here in the United States except that nuclear power is bad, and so is oil and coal. Wind, wind is my favorite. I love the wind, like when I walk on the beach, shirtless, so tall and lanky and lean like the girl from Ipanima. Thank you, may God bless you, and God bless the United States of America, a country in the northern hemisphere of the planet Earth, which is globally warming, along with the rising oceans which I have stopped, like King Canute, with my eloquence.

Someone said that Obama didn't make verbal gaffs the way W did. The police acted stupidly. Arugala. Clinging to their guns or religion. These are not gaffs. He means what he says. He speaks very clearly. Very. It's just that what he thinks is wrong.

So after a few weaks of dithering and waffling and being indecisive and eloquent ... oh, I mean weeks ... Obama has made it very clear to Kuhdaffy that we will not, repeat not be sending in soldiers. The situation is unacceptable, so the consequences must be, um, clear, about the thing that we won't be accepting any day soon now. So do not, repeat do NOT get that ice cream out of the fridge young man, or you will be in BIG trouble. The French are ON THE WAY! Is that CLEAR?!? I MEAN it.

I have a few extra bucks now. It's been a tight year, what with my sources of income having become constricted. Maybe I'll buy myself a new gi? -- with clover leafs embroidered all over it! Yeah! And I've been yearning for an electric razor. That's about it. I have humble needs. I stopped buying books, and cut out most supplements. I even went a while without omega-3. Haven't been training hard enough anyway, mostly, to suffer too much from the lack. Cat's claw, boswellia, hyaluronic acid -- effective but auxiliary. I learned a decade ago what it was to go through fire. In all things I am content ... no ... in most things I am fairly okay.

I put together some gymnastics rings. I have three designs, and variations on them, and have made one of them. Seems to work as desired. I'll make its variation, and take a vote. That's one of the reasons I get short of cash -- I spend it on projects. I don't see myself as generous. I take care of myself, first. But I have small needs, and then, when I have disposable funds, I tend to give people things, but only if I think they could use it. Never gifts for the sake of giving. Whereas I am very proud, and will accept gifts from only a very few people. Anyway, have some ideas about kettlebells as well. And I've been tinkering with adjustable straps. And thinking about building another kitchen and bathroom for my foolish mother. I don't see much of a difference between those projects. Do you? Rings, or a kitchen? Seems about the same to me. About a hundred dollars.

I haven't seen any of the earthquake or tsunami video. Send me some cool links, k?


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