Sunday, May 1, 2011

Loyalty Day

Hell has expanded its borders, and that's good. For all that justice delayed is justice denied, when we grow up and understand all about how the world really works, we're happy with every slight good thing we get. So Osama is in hell now, reaping his reward. An eternity of 72 rhinoceroses sodomizing him. Good.

As for what it means, well, it's a symbol. Hurrah. But as for what it really means, it means nothing at all. Al Qaeda is not dependent on any single leader. Osama ... I keep typing Obama ... planned some several atrocities, entirely in decades past. In practical terms he has been an irrelevance for, well, for a decade. Shot his wad and went to ground. Loved and admired as a hero by a tenth of a quarter of humanity -- the islamists -- so there's that ... but really just a Santa Claus of Evil -- a Pillsbury Doughboy or Aunt Jemima or Miss Clairol of islamism. You know, an image. Important in that marketing is important. But not important.

As for Obama ... yes, that's it ... what an eh-hole. I was willing to not be entirely displeased with him, in his speech-reading. But then he went and did it. "I am so pleased with the men that I sent when I was given the information that I told them to get for me and I decided to send my soldiers to do my bidding to get my enemies for my country that I am President of, and it was me who lead the SEAL team and kicked in the door and put a bullet into Obama's brain ... I mean Osama's." Look again and see if I'm wrong. It's undignified, for all his poise.

"And so shortly after taking office, I directed Leon Panetta, the director of the CIA, to make the killing or capture of bin Laden the top priority of our war against al Qaeda. ... Then last August, after years of painstaking work by our intelligence community, I was briefed on a possible lead to bin Laden. ... I met repeatedly with my national security team as we developed more information about the possibility that we could located bin Laden hiding within a compound deep inside Pakistan. And finally, last week, I determined that we had enough intelligence to take action and authorized an operation to get Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice.

"Today, at my direction, the United States launched a targeted operation against that compound in Pakistan. ..."

Ah. So that's why he won the Nobel Peace Prize. And gas prices will settle for a little bit, and then continue to rise. Moslems will remain important, because oil will remain important. Borders, in Europe to islam, and in America to the Third World at our south, will remain open and meaningless, allowing alien cultures to turn Western Civilization into something a bit dustier. Damn, just when we were finally getting this indoor plumbing thing down.

Maybe I'm getting primitive myself though. I think the remains of all suicide bombers should be ground up with pig carcasses and fed to dogs. Put it on Youtube. Fair warning. Problem solved. A religion that requires its adolescent murderers to shave their pubes in preparation for the holy rite of marketplace-bombing needs its mind focused. We need to be a little less sensitive to the prejudices of monsters. Will we offend moderate moslems? No more I should think than a clean conscience is offended by having an honorable faith perverted. Far less, in fact. But as long as fools and vacuities like, say, Al Sharpton continue to have significant sway in public discourse, common sense and effective behavior will remain mere theories.

It's not that I care or don't care about Osama. I don't care about him, like I don't care about 9-11. I care about effective responses, not about unprovoked atrocities. We can pretend we're philosophers, wondering all about why. Or we can get to work, rebuilding, and preventing. You think I'm being simplistic. I'm past arguing. You can embrace futility and call it integrity, or you can execute a plan and deal with the consequences. You know, like a man.

My son had to argue with a bunch of doctors to give him a boot instead of a cast. He has a higher stake in the matter than they do. Yes, I raised him right. I had a plan you see, about how to be a man. Be honest, be observant, learn to keep your mouth shut a lot of the time. Sounds contradictory, but it worked out well.

Happy Loyalty Day.


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