Monday, June 6, 2011

Wax Man

No, this time he's just gone too far.
The unsolicited tweeting of demi-boner shots to co-eds is in itself beyond the Pale, but, hey, guys are guys, eh? Sort of kind of immature, flashing your digital dick around like that, but I figure if we see chicks' nips through their tanktops, we can see Weiner's oscar in bas relief too. Tat for tit and all that. Goose and gander. The debate over primary v secondary sexual organs is over, and we lost, so let it all hang out, baby.

But a middle aged Jew, this hairless? I just don't think so. Dude's waxing. I get it, not wanting to look like yer wearing a sweater made out of Brillo Pad, but a little verisimilitude would be nice. How about just a trim? -- a little artful shaping? Manscaping? Cuz this is ... it's ... just unamerican, is what it is. Unseemly.

Now I myself am a tastefully hirsute man. I can't say what Scandinavian-Americans are supposed to be, being the most masculine man in my family, but I fall well within the category of extreme manly beauty, and my hairy arms and chest only augment my desirability. Point being, why the shame, Weiner? We aren't born this way, baby, we grow into it.

Doubt me? Object lessons:

Not so pretty, eh? Hair, no hair ... alien, vampire, mutant, zombie, disease-ridden freak ... be what you are.

Think about it.


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