Saturday, April 14, 2012

Random Thoughts

An opportunity came up today for me to talk about the size of my penis, and believe you me, I did NOT miss the chance to brag. I was met with unaccustomed argument ... everyone knows I'm always right, so of course I had to take the bull by the horns. Long story short, we whipped them out, and I was astounded to see that of the four or five dudes, mine was MUCH smaller. Turns out it's pretty tiny. I did not know that. I had thought it was HUGE.

It wasn't so much an optical delusion thing, or a matter of perspective. It's that while it's long enough, about the length of a thumb, it's super skinny. And the twist, and the hook, don't help. Seems I had been confused, or distracted ... anyway, my judgement was thrown off because of all the hair, which is indeed very long -- I braid it, like a Valkyrie.

And then all the guys were commenting on my testicles too, saying they were very small. I argued about that as well but they pointed out that I was talking more about my scrotum. Sac skin is not nards, they said. Well, true, but.... But nothing. They were right. I'd been confused by the granny knot someone years ago must have tied it in. Once I got that undone -- I had to use pliers -- my bag's like an airport windsock on a still day. Just hanging down to my knees, pretty much empty. I dug around and did manage to find the actual testes, or teste rather ... seems I have only one, about the size of a shelled peanut.

Is that normal? -- about average at least? I'd have to say so, but I thought I'd like to know, so I've been searching through the internet looking for pictures of penises. Haven't found any yet. Must not be using the right search words -- "gentleman's member", "linga measurements", "intimate human thing". Nothing relevant comes up. Been at it for 3 or 4 hours, and I just have to suppose nobody else is really interested in the matter.

Ah well, just thought I'd share another of my insights. Isn't psychology interesting? My deep understanding is one of the reasons people like me so much. I'm so fascinating, and generous, and frankly so damn goodlooking. And on a more personal note, my penis is very long, which it may be a tad immodest to say, but it is after all one of the reasons all the chicks dig me so much, and the dudes are all so jealous.


1 comment:

bob k. mando said...


THAT'S certainly a change of pace.

i must say, i think i feel more at home here now.