Wednesday, May 12, 2010

My Wacky Day!

Well first I just popped awake, and that's not so common. Little did I know! And then I went and picked up some business cards, and they had a phone number on them that I did not want! Bummer.

Then I went and climbed onto a roof to fix a banner that was flapping around in the driving wind. I had to leap heroically onto an overhang, like ten feet below! Then I had to leap to the sidewalk far below! Totally parkour! But I had tossed a saw down first, and I FORGOT IT! And it's probably stolen away by now. Bummer.

Then I went to a thrift store on a whim, and bought a belt for $3.99, because most of my pants are unwearable now, because they have huge holes in the right knee, because that's always the knee I kneel on, because of an old injury from 35 years ago to my left knee -- anyway, most of the rest of my pants are too fat at the waist, for some reason, all baggy and loose and droopy. And when I went to pay the woman asked if I was a senior because it was senior discount day, and I said, "Well, I'm 50," and she said, "That's senior," and I said, "Really? That's the first time I've been a senior." And it was a 30% discount, so I paid $3.06, but I gave her $5.02 because I thought she said $3.02, and I said, "Oh, my hearing must be going." But I cut in line without realizing it to buy the belt.

Then I went to a healthfood store to buy a moonpie for a snack -- the soy or rice kind, that's so good for you, with no actual sugar. And I said to the woman, "Would you toss the receipt for me" -- because I don't like being handed trash -- and she said, "Sure." But then she tried to hand it to me anyway! And I said, "Why you...!" And she said, "Oops, force of habit." And I said, "Think nothing of it my good woman."

And then I got home and my garage was swarming with bees. I had built a bunch of wooden boxes and they stack on top of each other and have a hole in the side for lifting, and the bees had decided that they were going to build a hive inside my boxes! So I took a pole and knocked the boxes over so the bees would fly away. But they're still sort of buzzing around. And then just then my son said he had some friends who wanted to BUY three of my boxes, and he just drove away with them right now!

And that's just SO FAR. Can't wait to see what other crazy things are going to happen in this wacky day!


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