Monday, October 24, 2011


I'm having a lot of promiscuous sex nowadays, unprotected of course. Oh, didn't I tell you? I've joined the Occupy Movement, and to dramatize how the Bankers want to screw us all, well, that's what I'm trying to do. Also, I don't bathe, do demonstrate how dirty they all are. And I'm using an assload of drugs, to demonstrate their greed and lack of self control. Mostly crystal meth, but whatever, I'm a real garbage head, to show the world how bad they are. I defecate publicly -- that's just me .. sometimes I don't even drop my pants -- or when I manage to find an indoor john there's no need to flush, cuz I do it on the floor. I make sure not to buy anything from the store, because capitalism is evil. In fact I do a little shoplifting, to share the wealth.

My "gig" is to recite spontaneous poetry, accompanied by mandolin and bongos, while girls dance with scarves. Here, let me make one up now, totally extempore.

Ooooh (moan)
hugahfuhbuh hugahfuhbuh

Oh u man wit duh big briefs ... case --
think ur so macho but u ain't the shiz!
Bulging in ur pants like that all
but nobodyz looking at u hot cakes
ur money don't make u no man!
Big man! Dat
itz in duh back!
uv ur pants!
U carryun a wad all rite ...
of shiz!!!


Thank you. Thank you very much. I call it Wad Man, no, Wad St. Man -- yeah. To symbolize how phallocentric they are, and how they want us to live in the streets. I think I'll submit it to the New York Review of Book. I was a History of 20th Century English Language Liturature Major, you know, before I dropped out because Major sounds so militaristic and homophobic.

Now I'm getting all these rhymes, like street and sheet, and, um, I forgot.

Oh, another poem:

Occupy Movement!
Occupy ur moment!
ur street
ur sheet
ur bowel movement
ur toilet moment
ur tp role
ur 1-ply street!
Write on the wall, street!
Right on! Rite on! Write one ply
ply ur trades
all day
triple play
okay no way
in ur tie and ur brief
double cross

Thank you. Thank you very much. That one was in danger of actually becoming good, so I had to stop.

But man that Obama, he was the best prezident ever, but since they're all bad, he's bad. Ironic.

Now excuse me while I shiz.


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