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Thursday, October 20, 2011

fabbook

This facebook thing is quite disturbing. I went to my page for some reason ... maybe they're always sending me emails ... and there up at the top were four pictures of ME. My name, my image, together, on the internet. For all to see? There was some poorly written stuff about privacy, that I'm not following. Unclear prose: yet another justification for public flogging.

So apparently, if anyone in the world "tags" your name or account to a photo, it appears everywhere? Or only on your own page, and theirs? Or everyone who's friends? A post-highschool photo of a group of us at the wedding of a friend. Three of me getting my brown belt. Man, I am not photogenic. Sort of a Max von Sydow slash Ted Danson slash Charlton Heston slash Patrick Stewart thing going on. Lots of unforgiving shadows. There's another of me on the same original account, shirtless in the midst of a workout. I gave it some thought, and figured, if three are up of me in my gi, then I might as well get a little ego gratification and "tag" the workout photo as well. Cuz I'm not bulky but I am "cut", as you kids say. So there it is now. One of the few genuinely immodest things I've done.

Oh! Hey! Maybe you'd like to see it? Oh, okay.

drumrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroll

No, on second thought, I won't.

But that moronic facebook interaction from a year ago with a highschool friend, I replied briefly to it. I'm finding messages that I didn't know were there. Bit late now. I just don't get it.

Oh all right. I will show you a picture of me. Get set!

Okay, here it is:

Ready? So brace yourself, kay? Cuz here it comes:

Right ... now!

Well, no.

Okay, yes:

No, just kidding. But here I am, for real:

ahem

So brace yourself. One ... two ... three ... get set ... steady ... and .... go!

Go!

Here it is, right ... NOW

BAM! I think I can see Jesus.

I'm deliberately flexing, really hard, total unnatural pose, cuz that's how I am.

Or maybe it's not me, but rather some magnificent beast I found on the internet, a glorious Adonis, an incredibly ripped mega stud that all the chicks totally dig, resplendent in his blinding aurora of virility and unbearable hotness. Maybe.

Or maybe it's me, not posing, not flexing, just doing a workout, the way I do, and that's just how I am.


What?! Kuhdaffy is dead!?!


J

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