Proceed with Caution

They got me before, you see. Once when they told me I'd won the African Lottery. And then Suhay Arafat offered to marry me [one two three]. I'm afraid I wasn't as prudent as I might have been. I'm still suffering the repricutions, both legal and in terms of my long-term health. Ah well, what doesn't destroy us makes us stronger.

So this time I read the email with some fair degree of caution.

PLEASE CALL ME AND GET BACK TO MY EMAIL: 00226-70 64 24 10
FROM THE DESK OF ALLAUDDIN MUHAMADAD
AUDIT/REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT OF
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK (ADB)
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO
PHONE: 00226-70 64 24 10

Hm. So far so good. African Devolopment Bank. Sounds impressive. I don't know what an OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO is, but it must be something. And look at all those digits in the phone number. That must cost a lot. Shows class.

Please for security reason you can contact me on my private
Email Address; muhamadad@live.com

Ah, that explains why it's not a corportate address. Cuz Live is just as secure than anything a banking corporation might offer -- its microsoft after all, which is like a government.


DEAR FRIEND
(CONFIDENTIAL)
I KNOW THAT THIS EMAIL WILL BE A BIG SURPRISE TO YOU, BUT I
WANT YOU TO CALM DOWN AND READ VERY CAREFULLY.

Okay. Okay, be calm. Just calm down, Jack, cuz finding this in my junk mail was very exiting and surprising. Okay. Steady .... steady. Okay, now, read, carefully:


I HAVE A
BUSINESS WHICH WILL BE BENEFICIAL TO BOTH OF US. THE AMOUNT
OF MONEY INVOLVED IS ($ 15,200:000:00 FITEEN MILLION TWO
HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS) WHICH I WANT TO TRANSFER OUT
OF THE COUNTRY TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, ALL TO MY FINANCIAL
BENEFIT AND YOURS TOO. AND ALSO TO TAKE MY WIFE ABROAD FOR
TREATMENT OF LIVER DAMAGE.

Sounds good so far. I'd want to do that too, if my wife had damage of liver. And ... be calm, calm ... deep breaths ... look at all those zeroes!! Man oh man! Fiteen milioon dolies!!! Okay, it's happening again. Be calm. Maybe just one more little nip to steady my nerves, like he says, my buddy Mouahammaddad. Ahh. Hits the spot.

THIS MONEY IS OWNED BY A MAN CALLED JIN SUN, A BUSINESS
COMMERCIALIST I WEST-AFRICAN REGIONS. HE HAS BEEN DEAD SINCE
SIX YEARS AGO AND SINCE THEN, NO CLAIM HAS BEEN PLACED ON
HIS BANK ACCOUNT BALANCE. WANT TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY OUT
OF THE COUNTRY BUT SUCH FUND CANNOT BE TRANSFERRED WITHOUT A
NEXT OF KIN ATTACHED TO THE FUND.

Okay. So it's, like, free money then, right? I mean, no one's claiming it, so it doesn't really belong to anyone. Jin Sun. Sounds like a chinese to me. Stinking chinese, man I hate them. Here, let me just slip off and freshin mylittle drinkypoo. Huh. so them chinsesDeserve what they get. Jin Sun. MKore like bin dum. ha@!@! Them chinees commericalists n wes africn regiions. exploiters is what they are!!! I like how my pal Aladin and his majic lamp writes in all caps. Gives emphasis, dude -- makes in improtatnt!! IMPORTANT! ALL CAPS IS IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!! ECHO!!! ECHO!!! hELLOW? TO BE OR NOT TO BE!!! HE SCOFFS AT SCARS WHO NEVER FELT A WOUND ... BUT SOFT! WHAT LIGHT IN YONDER WINDOW BREATKS!!!

THE FUND COULD BE TRANSFERRED IN THESE WAY; YOU SHALL
PRESENT YOURSELF AS A BUSINESS ASSOCIATE TO THE DECEASED
PERSON[JIN SUN] AS DETAILS SHALL BE THAT YOU ARE THE
CARE-TAKER BUSINES ASSOCIATE TO MR. JIN SUN AND HIS
PROPERTIES.

That aladin -- what a brain!! So i present myself.... hey, hi, I'm jack, heres my passprot you african blacks, and egimme all that money of my old dead pal \ginsong no i mene gensing, it's good for your circulation, makes you hard if you get what I mean. Ha! LOL!!! HARD, GET IT/??!


I SHALL MAKE AVAILABLE TO YOU MATERIALS AND INFORMATION
WITH WHICH A SUCCESSFUL CLAIM SHALL BE PLACED ON THE FUND. I
SHALL ALSO BE YOUR GUIDIANCE AND INSTRUCTOR THROUGHOUT THE
DURATION OF THIS TRANSACTION SO AS TO ENSURE A SWIFT AND
SURE TRANSFER OF THE FUND TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. AS TO YOUR
BENEFITS, YOU SHALL BE ENTITLED TO 40% OF THIS FUND FOR YOUR
CO-OPERATION IN THIS TRANSACTION WHILE 5% WILL BE SET ASIDE
FOR EXPENCES INCURED DURING THE COURSE OF THIS TRANSACTION.
SO IF YOU ARE INTRESTED, SEND A REPLY TO ME IMMEDIATELY AND
IN YOUR REPLY PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR [PRIVATE PHONE AND YOUR
FAX NUMBERS] URGENCY HASTO BE IMPLIED AND THIS BUSINESS MUST
STRICTLY BE A DEAL BETWEEN BOTH OF US.

I shall he says shall. that's quality. An educated man, adlein mouhamadad. Allen alda!! Alen alday Mashman!! LOOL! and old trapper john will be my counceler, divine counceler and all the governments shall be up on his shoulders!! The west african governemtn
and 49 persent of 50 million dollies!! Rish!!! trich!!!!!! hoooaahah!!! and tht five pernent is smart, cus theres expenses and rainy days and stuff Oh baby am i ever intrrested i will reply IMMEDIATEDLYY!!!BUT I DON HAVE A FZS NUMER BUT I CAN GO TO KINKOES.


WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE SO THAT I CAN MOVE AHEAD
AND GIVE YOU THE INDEPT DETAILS CONCERNING THIS TRANSACTION
AND ALSO THE STEPS TO TAKE FOR A SMOOTH TRANSFER OF THE FUND
INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.
Please for security reason you can contact me on my private
Email Address; muhamadad@live.com
BEST REGARDS,
ALLAUDDIN MUHAMADAD

oH Mohamad alda, i will urgently resond, like a virgin to yuor smooth slow hand!! lolll! mandingo!! O mist meed tp set i[ a baml accpimt!! I can go to WAMU or b of a!! wells fargo, to they still have the horses??? regarfds, old chum, and you will definately be hearing from me post hate!!!

Oh. Suhay, my love, my love. Why? Why? You broke my poor heart.


J